Answered Questions

1. Hip feels good. Actually there hasn't been any pain in the hip. The pain is in my thigh where they did all the cutting. I am up and about on one crutch. I am still at my parents. I had thought I would only be there a few days. I just didn't expect to be in so much pain.
2. Christmas was as good as could be expected. The highlight was the web cam and chatting with The Misses. It took forever for enough people to get off line over there for her web cam to work. But once it did I was able to see my beautiful wife smiling, crying, laughing and just being her wonderful self. It was by far the best present I could have received.
3. The Misses got moved okay. The reason you haven't seen any letters is she has been so busy working 14 or more hours a day. She was able to enjoy Christmas, but I will leave it up to her to tell you all about it. I am just thankful she got moved without an incident. I am so thankful she doesn't go outside the wire much.
4. It was The Misses roommate that walked in on us. I don't know how much she saw, but I am glad she understood and they had a good laugh about it.

Medieval Torture Device

So tomorrow is another day in the adventure of Mark and his attempt to leave this earth with less parts or now better parts then he came with. To be honest I am not so worried about the fact they are cutting into my groin, dislocating my leg, cutting the top 3 or so inches off my femur, drilling down the femur so a titanium piece can be be pounded into place this will act like my old femur head, a large drill bit will be inserted in my hip and bone will be ground away so a titanium cup can be put in, and finally they will shove the two pieces back together and I will have my new hip. Nope none of that scares me. Certainly a little anesthesia and the potential side effect don't faze me anymore.
What scares the shit out of me is this....

Notice in this nice picture the lady is wearing some yellow tight outfit of some sort. Me, all I will have is my birthday suit on.

The first time I saw this I was sitting in a class the surgeons office holds every month to teach those that are about to go through this what to expect. As I sat in the classroom it was easy to see I was the youngest person by about....oh I don't know...30 maybe 35 years. The teacher actual told the lady sitting next to me that it was nice her great grandchild was there to learn what she was going to be going through. When she got to this picture in the slide show, everyone gasped. "Now don't worry" she explains. "I always ask everyone if they remember getting on the table and none of them do." Well, that is good to know.
But all this has reminded me I better get going. I need to go do a little "manicuring". I haven't been with The Misses in so long it is a little scary down there...
Oh,and wait until I am all messed up on pain meds. I will tell you all the story of how The Misses and I were caught having a little Web Cam Sex.

Our "I'm Thankful" Moment

Every year around the Thanksgiving dinner table, if you are with The Misses family you are required to tell everyone what you are thankful for. I sent The Misses an email and explained how it went for me…..
So my "I’m thankful" moment didn't turn out like I had planned. I started with "I have never been more thankful for the internet and the telephone”..... Silence...I was so over come with emotion that I couldn't speak. Tears just rolled down my face and I buried my face in a napkin. I don’t know how long I stayed like that, but it felt like forever. I finally was able to spit out "This is so hard without her. I didn’t think it would be this hard”..... More silence and sobbing. I think I managed to thank your Mom and Dad for their support, but then I was done. I just couldn't stop crying.
Sitting next to me was TP. When she started into you being thankful for me I couldn’t hold it back again. I guess you have worn off on me. Shit I am crying here again. I could hear all of your family sobbing too. Your Aunt Lavern softly said "how precious". I really don’t think there was a dry eye in the place.

The Misses got off easy (if you can call eating a turkey dinner in a combat zone easy). She had pre written something and had her sister TP read it…..
Hey Everyone,
Happy Thanksgiving!!! I truly hope all of you are doing well. I wish I could be there but since I am unable to, I thought I would write and let you all know what I am thankful for this year. I have also attached some pics of my Thanksgiving meal in the chow hall here. SSG Rose Ledford was my date and we had a great dinner. Of course it was no home cooked meal, but it was good. As for what I am thankful for, prepare yourself, my list is long. This is truly a list of what I am grateful for and why. We are all so blessed with so many small things we forget what they are until we don’t have them anymore. So in no particular order, here is my list: drum roll please,
1. Sidewalks. Walking in sand, dirt, and/or rocks all day everyday gets really old. Especially when you have weak ankles.
2. Street Lamps. Yep walking on previously stated terrain is not any easier at night, in the dark.
3. Telephones, yep the old fashion kind that actually are connected to a cord in your house. Mine are ½ a mile away that you can only get to by walking on previously stated terrain. Refer to number 1.
4. Cell phones. Need I say more?
5. Fly swatters, fly sticky strips, or anything that can help get rid of all these slow flying kamikaze flies. I swear, you swat one and 10 of his buddies show up.
6. A chow hall, food already prepared and ready to eat. Much easier to eat healthy when you don’t have to think about it.
7. A chow hall that is 0.7 miles away. Yep I have to walk that far to eat. I’m thankful for it though because when I do eat, I’m already burning those calories before and after. However with that said, I give you number…
8. A kitchen that is attached to my living space. A fridge, stove and all the food right there not 10 feet from me. The walking does get old, quick. Again, refer to number 1.
9. Free Gyms and exercise classes. I think the government should put that on the table to help keep Americans healthy. I know it helps me.
10. Internet, and email. Being able to keep in touch with family and friends more frequently and more often than snail mail. This is truly priceless.
11. High Speed Internet, we are truly spoiled with that. The stuff out here is slow…
12. Letters, as slow as snail mail is. There is nothing like seeing that someone took the time to actually write you a letter. To see their handwriting. With this said I need to apologize to my brother Greg that I didn’t do a better job of this for him. I hope he will forgive me.
13. A bathroom connected to your room, no wait a bathroom connected to your house. Let’s just say I have TBS (tiny bladder syndrome) and having to get up and use the bathroom some 30 feet away outside through a maze of buildings 1-2 times a night, does not help with a good night sleep. Oh and yet again please refer to number 1.
14. Porta Jons, yep I am thankful for them. Right now I wish there was one right outside my room. They are everywhere else, why can’t they put one there?
15. Long, hot, showers by yourself. Yep, I like them but here, no such thing. One, everyone else is taking a shower with you. Two, we are in a desert and we get to take “combat showers.” Example: step 1, water on, rinse. Step 2, water off, wash. Step 3, water on, rinse. The End. Oh, and by step 3, hot water is gone.
16. A bath. Again, need I say more? The truth is, it’s really not that bad over here. I know my set up could be much worse. I have a comfortable room and bed with a very nice roommate, Rose Ledford who I am sharing this experience with. I am learning and experiencing things I never have before so how could I not be thankful for my life. So now for the “cheesy” stuff. I am thankful for a country that allows us to choose what we believe and who we want to represent us. During this historical election year I have listened to Soldiers who all wear the same uniform and yet have very different beliefs on who they wanted to be their Commander in Chief. How lucky are we that is even possible, that they, that we, have a right to choose who our boss is. As a nation we are truly blessed for the opportunities we have and what this country has to offer. I want to thank every Soldier and their families. I am thankful for them and their sacrifice. Both truly do sacrifice for a Soldier’s service. The Mr. and I now actually know what that sacrifice is. I am mostly thankful for my family. I have parents both birth and in-laws who love me and care for me very much. I know that any of my family; all of my 4 sisters and 5 brothers would do anything for me. I am thankful for extended family that actually enjoy each other’s company at the holidays and get together to celebrate. I am also thankful for friends. You know who you are. We too have been through so much together and I appreciate all you have done to be there for the Mr. and I, especially during these last couple years.
The number one thing, no person I am thankful for is my dear Husband. I want you all to know that I know, I am so lucky to have him. He is my support, he is my rock, and he is my world. I would not be able to be here and do what I do if it wasn’t for him taking care of me and our life at home. We stay in contact everyday in some form or fashion, and this helps us to stay close. I am truly thankful that he is not only willing, but wants to do the work it takes to stay close while we are so far apart. There are not many men in this world willing to make such a sacrifice as he. If you haven’t heard about the next obstacle he faces; it's a Total hip replacement at the ripe young age of 31. This is due to side effects of medications he was on for Ulcerative Colitis. Yet, when I call him and ask how his day is going he’ll tell me “Oh busy, so and so called in sick, but I’m fine.” I say “Really, do they have a broken hip?” He is the strongest person I know both physically and mentally. What he has been though in his life inspires me every day to just keep on going. To push through to the end. Mark, I love you with every fiber in my body. I am thankful that you are you. There is no one I would rather spend forever with. I can’t wait for my leave when I get to see you and hold you in June and celebrate our 2nd Wedding Anniversary and our 6th year together as a couple. I also can’t wait for the 325 days from today to go by. When I will officially be off orders and back home to you for good.
Thank you to all of you who have loved and supported me so far on this deployment. I have felt all of your thoughts and prayers. I love you all and miss you very much. I am so thankful and blessed to a member of your family. I truly wish I could be there and I am so thankful for all you in my life. Take care and have a great Thanksgiving meal. Give everyone a hug and a kiss for me.
Love you all, The Misses

Letter From Iraq- 21 Nov, 08

Well, now I am in Camp Liberty, Iraq. Well that is where I sleep but I work on Camp Cropper. Don’t worry; I don’t have to convoy everyday to and from work. I do have to commute however. It is decent distance and a drive over bumpy roads. So you can’t really sleep to well. I can’t talk much about where I work and you won’t get to see a lot of pictures from their either but I can show you pictures of where I live. I won’t call it home sweet home because home is where The Mr. is, but here it is in all its glory…

Pad 10

During the Day

At Night
Yes it really is that dark outside when you have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Yes, this is the bathroom and the décor is braded mop heads and bath loufas. I think they are ones people leave in the shower. It was pretty overwhelming the first time I walked in. It’s not too bad though, I really can’t complain. The water is usually warm for showers. That’s what’s most important. I think the cleaning lady is the one who is the decorator.

Letter From Iraq- 21 Nov, 08 Cont..

This is the door way to my room. All our living quarters are surrounded by these barricades. I live in 10-372C with SSG Rose Ledford. This is pretty much what I do in my spare time. Email The Mr. It’s nothing fancy but it is comfortable and it will do. We just got the mini fridge and the TV yesterday. We have about 6 channels to choose from off of the Armed Forces Television Network (AFN). The fridge is to keep milk in so I can have cereal and don’t have to get up for breakfast on my days off. Lazy, I know but it’s nice to sleep in.

This is what I do every night. It may be on these phones or some different ones but I have probably talked to some of you on them. This phone call however was to The Mr. If you think you see a rifle in my arms, you do. We have to carry it everywhere with us. I’m sure when I get home and go to get up from somewhere I’ll look around for it.
We took a tour the 2nd day we were here of the complex however, I do not live by this building. It isn’t finished and it’s not going to be. The former dictator started building it after Desert Storm 1. This is the Victory Over America Palace. Yep, no lie. That is its name. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to go inside any buildings yet but hopefully I’ll get the chance. This was a drive by picture taking. This lake is also manmade and I’m not sure how the water stays in it. For being a desert the dirt does not soak up water very well. When it does rain, water sits around in puddles forever. Well, until next time. Don’t worry there will be more when there is more to tell. Otherwise it is pretty much groundhogs day around here. Love, The Misses

Letter from Iraq- 17 Nov, 08

Hey Everyone,
Well, it’s been exactly one month since I flew across the great big Ocean. Exactly 7119 miles from Home to Baghdad, Iraq. Man that’s far. So let’s see, what have I done for a month? Well, I spent two Weeks in Camp Buerhing, Kuwait doing absolutely nothing. The Army calls that acclimatizing. Here are some photos of what I did there and what it looked like.

This is where I lived. PAD 9. Pretty nice as you can see, but dusty as hell.

This is where I slept with 13 other females and yes it was dusty in here too.

I ate Baskin Robin’s ice cream with the girls, and yes on more than one occasion.
Veronica Badillo, Me, Beth McGuire, Jenni Smith

I decided I make these look good.
These are BCG glasses (aka birth control glasses)

I also decided it’s probably too far to walk home.

I hung out with my friends at Starbucks.

SSG Ledford, SFC Cole, SPC Selvey, SPC Luongo, SSG Kaplan, SSG McGuire, Me, SSG Badillo

Letter from Iraq- 17 Nov, 08 Cont..

Ya, let’s just say I didn’t lose any weight while I was in Kuwait. All these kids are the skinny kids. Then after all that sitting around and doing nothing it was time to say good bye. Half of us have gone on to Camp Bucca, Iraq and the other half are in Camp Liberty, Iraq. We are all wondering one thing. Will be ever see each other again and meet up in Camp Taji, Iraq? That we will have to wait and see I guess, only time will tell. We all hope so.

The E-6 Mafia.
SSG Beth McGuire, SSG Veronica Badillo, SSG Me, SSG Rose Ledford

In between all these smiling faces of mine there were also a lot of tears. Leaving the United States, not knowing what this country had in store for me was honestly, a little scary. I got here and realized it wasn’t so bad. It was difficult to keep in touch during this new time. The internet and the phones were horrible. Long lines, slow, cutting in and out and to top it all off, expensive. I was really missing The Mr. If all of that wasn’t enough, I also was told my 31 year old husband was most likely going to have both his hips replaced. Wow! What is a girl supposed to do with info like that when she has nothing to do? Yep, think about it, a lot. I know The Mr. didn’t want to tell me because he didn’t want me to worry, however I am glad he did. The only thing worse than not being there for him in person when he got the news, would be not being able to be there for him at all. We are still figuring out all the details of what he needs to have done and what I am going to do. Come home now or wait for leave. We are leaning towards waiting for my leave so we can go on vacation somewhere after he has recovered and is out of pain.
On the night of Halloween the last of us packed up our stuff and headed to Baghdad, Iraq. Boy the plane was a tight ride and again, I was a little scared.

Yep, we got to wear our gear and everything. I think that added to the tight fit. Oh ya, and don’t forget my voluptuous hips probably did too. It was a quick fight however. Amazingly I did fall asleep through it, but it was about 0100 in the morning. We landed in Baghdad safe and sound and made it to where we were going to be living. I called The Mr. as soon as I could so he wouldn’t have to worry any more. I could tell he was very worried when he answered the phone. When I called and said, “Hey Sweetie, it’s me. I’m here safe and sound.” The first words out of his mouth were. “Oh thank God.” To be continued…

They are just trees

"I'm going to cut the shit out of the trees today."

"What do you mean cut the shit out of?" The Misses replies hesitantly

"You know prune them."

"Just be careful."

"So how was your day?" I ask wanting to change the subject.

"No really? What do you mean cut the shit out of them?"

"Don't worry, Pops is coming over to teach me."

"But your mom is always worried your dad is going to cut the shit out of her trees!"

"They are just trees they can grow more branches."

Truly I did try to hold back.

"Sweety, it was Pops fault"

"Happy Hallowiener"

Okay so it's not so happy, but it's definitely Halloween and it's one less Holiday I have to spend without The Misses.

There was no big Octoberfest Party this year like last. The Misses is the Party Organiser in our house. I stick to "drinking all the beer". But this isn't to say my garden, and more importantly the Great Pumpkins weren't a success. After we had carved up all the pumpkins last year, The Misses gathered up a few of the seeds and dried them out. Apparently, I must have been drunk while she did this or maybe it was the listeria (yeah, to make me feel better and not so much like the family drunk we will say it was the debilitating brain injury that caused me not to remember). This spring The Misses pulled the seeds out and planted them in some potting mix and a few weeks later we had a start. With the party on hold until next year I thought it would be best to give the pumpkins away.The first person that came to my mind was my cousin The Cutie's little girl The Beautiful Princess. I had no doubt the smile I would put on her face when she received her pumpkins. I was out of town, but the story goes. The Old Fart (Alpha Grandpa) knocked on Aunty C door and asked for The Beautiful Princes. When she came to the door The Old Fart asked her if she need a pumpkin. She told him "no, I already have one." As she pointed to the one on the ground. "Well, come see the ones I have in my truck." He took her to the back of his truck and pointed to The Great Pumpkins. "Would you like one of those?" Her eyes got big and a smile came to her face. Exactly what I was hoping for. The Cutie sent me a picture message
"I cannot believe how big these are!"

I told her she could have them if I got to come over on Halloween and take a few pictures. The Beautiful Princess was very shy and wouldn't have her picture taken unless The Cutie was with her.

"Happy Hallowieeener!"

"Mommy, you said Wiener"

And the hits just keep on coming....

It's called Avascular Necrosis (AVN)- According to the Internet "AVN is death of bone tissue due to a lack of blood supply. This can lead to tiny breaks in the bone and the bone's eventual collapse. AVN most often affects the head of the thighbone (femur), causing hip pain. But it may affect other bones as well." Guess what? I have it.

The story goes like this: 3 months or so ago I was pushing a cart at work when it felt like I pulled a muscle in my butt and groin. After a week of limping I finally went to see a Doctor at the VA (its free and I figured he would just give me some pain meds). He told me he thought I had pulled my piriformis muscle, which is a muscle deep in my hip. He put me on light duty at work for a week and gave me pain meds. After a week my butt started feeling a little better.


Around that same time The Misses was leaving for her first training. You can imagine as a new married couple there was a little (okay a lot) more loving going on than usual. Pretty soon I was back limping around the house and work. The pain started going down my leg into my knee and shin. I was sure I had a sex injury, or at least that was what I was telling people. I thought since The Misses was going to be gone for a long... long.... long.... time my sex injury would heel. Well it didn't.

Last week I went back to the VA Doctor and told him I was still in pain.
" My wife, the nurse thought I should mention some medicine I use to take."
"What medicine Is that?" he mumbled while typing on the computer.
"Prednisone." I said matter of factly.
"SHIT!"
I don't know if he was saying shit because he should have thought to ask that, or he was pissed I hadn't mentioned it in the first place. Prednisone is a horrible steroid I was taking to combat the effects of my Ulcerative Colitis flare ups. The crappy thing about this drug is how much you have to take. It isn't one of those that once you use up the bottle your done. You have to be weaned off it. With as big of doses as I was taking it would take me forever to get off it.

The Doctor order me an xray for that day. The xray department is well known for their cute xray techs. They all look like little girls to me, but the guys in my section seem to take a lot longer when they have to take something to this area. One of the cute techs came and called my name. I followed her into one of the room where waiting was another tech. She was there doing some training. Unfortunately I wasn't wearing scrubs so she handed me a lovely gown and told me to get down to my underwear. As I took of my shoes it hit me. You see I work hard everyday at work. I am constantly running from section to section issuing items and fixing problems. Doing this I work up a sweat. I wouldn't say I have stinky feet, but after a long day there is an odor. As I stood there in the gown I tried waving my feet around trying to dry them off. My hip was killing, but I was more nervous to have these cute girls smelling my stinky feet. Soon they both came in and asked me to lay down on the table. They both were leaning over my feet trying to move the xray into place. I was trying to decide if I should say something. If I did, what would I say? So I just laid there embarrassed as hell.

The xrays came back "suspicious" and an MRI was scheduled for the next week. The MRI was uneventful. It consisted of laying in a small tube staring at nothing for 35 minutes. When I was finished the tech told me "I can see why you are limping." When I asked for more information he told me he wasn't the doctor so he couldn't go into more details. I had an appointment the next day with the doctor so all I could do was wait.

The next day my appointment was first thing in the morning. At the time of my appointment the MRI hadn't been read by the radiologist. The Doctor took my number and told me he would call as soon as he knew anything. Meanwhile The Misses is going a bit crazy. She like lots of information and I just didn't have any to give. She knew when my appointment was so she called right after. I told her I didn't know anything. Wouldn't you know right after I got off the phone with her the Doctor called.

"I have some bad news. You have avascular necrosis...." He told me that the steroids had restricted the blood flow to my femur and it was dying. The reason bones are so strong is because they constantly heal and fix themselves with blood. In both femurs blood wasn't getting to the heads and they were slowly dying. The reason my right one hurt so bad is I have a compound fracture.

He told me he wasn't an orthopedic specialist, but from what he researched the fix to this problem is hip replacements. As I heard this my eyes began to well up with tears. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. More surgeries. He suggested that I make an appointment with several orthopedic surgeons. He didn't believe the ones at the VA were the right ones for me. I thanked him for the information and went back to work.

On my way home from work I called my mom in tears. "Oh crap" is what she said. I feel so bad telling her this stuff. There isn't a mom out there that worries more about her family. I know she hasn't slept well since I told her. That night I laid in bed trying to decide if I should tell The Misses. I didn't want her too upset over there. I was concerned she wouldn't be able to keep her head in the game. In the end I decided to tell her.

"Hey, what did you find out?"
"I have a fracture in my tibia (I meant femur but wasn't thinking straight)."
"Tibia? I thought it was something in the femur?'
"Oh yeah, that's the one." I replied
"Well that's good at least we know what it is."
"There is more to it" I forced myself to say through the lump in my throat.
Click the phone went dead. Over in Kuwait you can imagine they don't get the best reception. So we get cut off a lot.
My phone finally rang again.
"What do you mean there is more to it?" She immediately asks.
"I have Avascular Necrosis." As the tears start rolling down my face.
"No no no. What does it all mean?"
"I am probably going to have to have hip replacements."
I didn't hear anything in return. She finally starts talking again all chocked up. I reassured that I will be okay. Then I tried to explain as much as I know about it.


So that is where I am. I have another disease caused by Ulcerative Colitis. My Mom, Sister, and I are in the process of finding the right orthopedic surgeon. From what I hear there are good ones and bad ones. I'm only 31 years old. I need to find one that is confident he can make the replacements last 15 to 20 years.

I am telling everyone I am doing okay. I don't know how much truth there is to it, but I have to be okay. I wont let my bad health win.

Letter from Iraq- 20 Oct 08

I made it, long trip but I made it. It's wasn't to bad. I ended up having my own 2 seats on the plane so I got to spread out a little. It was really hard when I couldn't use my cell phone anymore to text or call Mark. I know I am definitely going to have some withdrawls. We had some short but sweet conversations and talking to him always makes me feel better. Being here is pretty surreal. It's hot, dusty and desolate. Nothing to see for miles because there is too much sand in the air and what you can see are tan buildings or tents. We will be here in Kuwait for only a short time, training and acclimating. We are sleeping in tents and mine right now does not have air conditioning. We are working to get that fixed as I write this. Our shower point is about 50 meters away, we can only use 15 gallons of water a day to include laundry and showering. So when we shower we wet our selves down, turn off the water, wash, rinse... turning on and off the water. Oh and it's cold. Which I guess isn't too bad since it's hot outside. I know I will think of my Grandma Marie every time I shower here. She used to always shower like that because of growing up during the depression. She tried to get me to do it as a teenager. Ya right, Grandma look at me now. Well I don't have much time to write. Limited on computers with Internet. It was an hour wait outside to get on. Well everyone, know things are ok so far and I'll keep in touch as often as I can. I love and miss you all. As soon as I get an address I'll get it out to you.
Love The Misses

Letter from Iraq- 17 Oct, 08

Well Everyone,
It’s time. Time, to move on to the next location. The next step in bringing me closer to coming home to my sweetie. Oh and of course the rest of you too. It is 0030 and we are cleaning the barracks and buffing the floor basic training style. Why, not quite sure. These are World War II barracks. The paint is peeling off the walls to reveal about umpteen layers, the floor tiles are lifting off on all the edges and some are even taped down with duck tape and bla bla bla. Oh well, “Sir Yes Sir. Thanks for putting a roof over our heads.” We have an inspection at 0300 to clear billeting. By the time you read this I’ll be headed for the airport if not already on my 19 hour flight and 36 hour trip all the way to Kuwait. For those of you that would like to know we are flying on a chartered 767, shouldn’t be to bad. (That’s for you little brother) Leaving is bitter/sweet. I’m ready to go and do the mission. Just not ready for the realization that I’m really going to be gone. You think it would have already hit by now but each move I live these same feelings all over again.

Sorry I haven’t done a better job of keeping the up on the blogging and keeping in touch. Needless to say I’ve been pre-occupied but I’m going to try and do better. I have some pictures but most of them are of my down time. A lot of the training was the same as it was in California. Here are some pictures that I meant to put up a month ago and a couple from here. The only real major difference between my time in California and Washington was the weather and there were a lot more trees.

Combative Training – California

Self Defense - Washington

Convoy Training – California

Letter from Iraq- 17 Oct, 08 Cont.

Vehicle Towing - California

Yep good training right here, what you don’t see is the hole our back right wheel fell into. Yep, we didn’t see it either. See…

Sneaky Hole

I just want to put out there I wasn’t driving, that was my battle buddy. (I love you Adriana!) We were going around the vehicle to the left of the photo following the first vehicle up ahead when wait… and vehicle towing training was then executed.
While in Washington we did a lot more convoy/IED operation exercises. We also practiced what are called crew drills. This is where everyone in the vehicle practices “What If’s.” while driving. I have to say my favorite is “Down driver, down driver, down driver!” This one is kind of hard to take pictures of. This is when you are driving (slowly of course, and after we practiced while the vehicle was stationary) and for some reason the driver can no longer drive and is unconscious. You call out “Down driver” 3 times then practice pulling them out of the driver’s seat and the person who sits directly behind the driver grabs the steering wheel and climbs over the seat to take over. Like I said, sounds crazy but it is possible. We did it. If you have ever been in fully furbished HUMMV with all your gear on pulling a full grown man out of the driver seat and replacing him with someone else, you can imagine that this does take practice. So we did and it’s my favorite because it’s the most fun to do.

Letter from Iraq- 17 Oct, 08 Cont...

We did have some relax time too. We were able to take a 4 day pass and have our families come and visit. The Mr. talked about that so I’ll just elaborate a little. It was so great to see him! I hope nobody takes this the wrong way but I just don’t think most can begin to imagine what we are going through unless you have been separated by no choice of your own and are looking at that separation being a year long. You are both worried about each other’s health and safety both physically and emotionally. You’re not sure how often you’ll talk yet somehow you both will need constant reassurance things will be okay. This is the hardest thing I/we have ever had to deal with. I have no doubt this will make our marriage stronger. I am so lucky to have a partner that is not only willing but capable of doing all of this with me and supporting me as he does. I love him with all my heart and had a wonderful time with him. I am so glad we were able to see each other one last time. Not sure when exactly we will see each other again but I’m trying to arrange my 2 weeks of leave over our 2nd wedding anniversary.

So as much as we work hard, we play hard. I really think the Soldier’s I’m deploying with are a great group of people. Sure you have your friends and there are some you like and can tolerate more than others but as a Unit, we are strong. I believe we would do anything for the other to all come home safe. I’m proud to be going with this group of Soldiers and friends. Here are some pictures of our down time together.

“Out to lunch” wearing a mullet wig!

Recall Formation in “any uniform!”

Yep, Soldiers acting silly is a favorite past time around here. I think its how we deal with the stress. From left to right in the group photo is SPC Lawrence Luongo, 1SG Jason Biermann (in uniform), SSG Bryan Kaplan, and SFC Andrew Cole.

My personal favorite way to pass the time is with all the girls in the barracks for “Movie Night” I don’t have pictures of this, but one night there must have been 10 girls crowded on 2 mattresses on the floor around a lap top eating pizza and drinking wine. It was a good time. I think we watched 3 movies, all chick flick comedies of course.

Me and SGT Takanikoscorti

My battle couldn’t hang any more

SSG Adriana Galvan (aka battle), Me, SGT Veronica Badillo

I’m laughing because one of them (I can’t remember which one) said hey we look like an Oreo cookie. “Brown on the outside and white in the middle.” It just came off so funny to me, and I might have had a nice little wine buzz by that point.

Well I hope I have caught you all up and that you can see I’m doing ok. I really am. I am so blessed to have so many that care about me both near and far. The next time you hear from me I’ll be in the Middle East. I love you Sweetie more than words can express. I’ll talk to you again real soon.
Love, The Misses

Three Great Days-

Friday was one of the most emotional days I have had in a very long time. As I sat holding The Misses hand in front of the security point at Seattle’s Airport, I couldn’t wrap my head around just how long she would be gone. It was as if a large weight was pressing down on my chest, and there was nothing I could think of other then this is it, I wont see her again for 9 long damn months. Finally I couldn’t take it any more. We could have sat for another 30 minutes, but I had to get the goodbye over with. As we stood there holding each other, expressing our love for each other the time had finally come. We were at a point in the airport where she could go one way to the rental car and I would go another through security. We both watched each other as we both disappeare. I kept looking back hoping she would come back, but I knew she was having to hard of a time to sneak one last kiss. As I sat staring into nothing waiting to board the plane I thought back to the last two great days.

I flew into Seattle on Wednesday. The Misses had a 4 day pass and we couldn’t pass up the chance to spend a few last days together before she flew to Kuwait. As I saw her walking towards me at the baggage claim joy filled my heart. We hugged and kissed each other as if we had been apart for a year. We had a few hours so we went back to the barracks where she was staying so she could grab her things. It was so hard for me to be there with all the Soldiers realizing what I was going to be missing out on, but that is a story for another day.

The Misses had made plans for lunch with one of my Soldiers from my deployment to Landstuhl. SPC Shatzi (obviously her name has been changed) was a great Soldier. She had a knack for getting things done that most said they couldn’t. I really enjoyed being her Non Commissioned Officer (NCO). It was really good to see her and her 2 kids and catch up and remember the good times. It really made feel good when she had told her husband that she “was having lunch with her NCO.” It makes me feel like I might have left my mark on a great Soldier.

The Misses had made reservations for us to stay at a cute little cabin that sat next to a huge lake. It was perfect. That night as we lay holding each other on the sofa we fell asleep. It felt so good to have her back in my arms. She finally woke me up and we went to bed. As I got up through the night to use the bathroom it was so great to cuddle back up to her when I came back to bed.

-View From Our Front Porch-

We slept in late Thursday. We had nothing planned but to be with each other. We plugged in the computer and watched Grumpy and Grumpier Old Men. It was so nice not having anything to do. We got cleaned up and went to dinner. Then it was back to the cabin for “Champagne Thursday”. Okay so we stole it from a move, but it has been a lot of fun and I will miss our weekly toast. The Misses had made a “Missing You” playlist on her computer so we danced, cried, drank, and held each other till it was time for bed. I couldn’t imagine a better day.

- Champagne Thursday-

Friday we went into Seattle and had lunch on top of the Space Needle. We took our time, even though we both had lost our appetite. We were to upset about what we were about to do. Not much was said on our way to the airport, I wish it could have taken a lot longer. I wasn’t ready to leave her.

-Atop the Space Needle-

It was a great trip. One good thing that has come from all this is how close it has brought us. I feel so close to her, even though we are so far apart. It is going to be a long year. I can’t wait for her 2 weeks off over our anniversary. I can imagine the week we spend on a warm beach somewhere is going to be as good as those three days.

400 Days

God it was hard watching The Misses walk out the door all dressed up as a Soldier. Today starts the 400 day clock. I definitely will not be counting down the days and really don't want to know right now what day is 400 away. It is just to long of time to think about.

For the past 7 days The Misses has been home. I would love to say it has been nothing but loving bliss. Unfortunately this coming Tuesday (the day she gets on a plane and leaves) has been hanging over our heads. Don't get me wrong I will cherish every second while she is here. I just hate saying good bye, which I had already done once and now I/ we have to go through it again.

Its hard to imagine that our love could grow any more through our time apart, but it has and will continue. When I was in my late Teens and early Twenties jealousy consumed my thoughts. I know without a doubt it ruined more then one relationship. The Misses some how, probably by convincing me all the time of her love had never seen this dark side of me. As big of a flirt that she is, I never questioned her commitment to me. I thought these thoughts were gone for good. It is probably the stress of everything but it did show its ugly head. I was jealous over what should have been nothing, but it consumed me. I think the greatest part of our relationship is our ability to talk things through. Okay, so its probably The Misses ability to talk and my ability to listen first and then talk later. Going through this situation I realised once again I have nothing to worry about. I love her and she loves me. We did see that communicating is going to be the key to this situation. The great thing about this is the easiest way for me to communicate my feelings is though writing, and the best thing for a Soldier so far away from home is mail. Nothing lifts your spirits more, then when you go to the mailbox and a letter is there waiting for you.

Now that situation is over I can go back to worrying about the far more important issue at hand. The Misses safety. I take great comfort in the fact she wont be out driving around on the hellish roads in Iraq. No matter where she is in the compound, she will have armed Military Police watching over the prisoners every move. She does have a good leader in her First Sergeant that I know will take care of her needs while she is there. There is some jealousy when it comes to the fact she is going to be doing what I love and that's taking care of and leading Soldiers. I really wish I could be there with her, but my job is being here and taking care of things at home.

Please keep her in your thoughts and if you want to do something for her write a letter and let her know you are thinking of her.

Letter from Iraq- 28 Aug, 08

Thursday, 14 Aug 2008

And so the training continues… today we did vehicle rollover training. Yes we did roll a vehicle. Well, not really. It was the body of an armored vehicle put onto a lift that simulates the roll over. Even though it’s a very slow roll I kinked my neck so bad. I forgot to tuck my chin. I can’t imagine what would have happened if we were going 50 miles an hour. Basically they roll the vehicle 180 degrees and then you have to get out while the vehicle is upside down. I wish you could see inside so you would know how tight of a fit it is and feel how heavy each door is, each one weighs approximately 400 lbs. It’s easy to get disoriented as to which way is which when your upside down, let alone opening that door from an awkward position. All I can say after this experience is wear your seat belt! I now know why people break their back and or neck in a car accident. Ouch!

Right Side Up

Upside Down

For the last couple of days we have been learning about the Army’s different weapon systems. I won’t give you all the names but basically we got to shoot big ass guns! From hand guns, to large ones you place on top of vehicles, to grenade launchers. To my nephew in Norway: yes they have lasers on them, red ones! A lot of fun I tell you. The Army is starting to train all deploying Soldiers on these weapons. Even if you don’t use it every day, if and when there comes a time you need to, you know how to operate it. As a medic, I can use any weapon necessary to defend and protect myself and my patients. So, if my gunner gets hurt in transport I can use his weapon to protect us both. Right now it is just good fun. Hopefully I will never have to actually use one.

Chelsea Kluge, Jennifer Ysmael, Jennifer Taylor, Adriana Galvan

Quit Your Bitchin

I realised Monday as I was dragged kicking and screaming off my sofa to go to a concert. I complain entirely too much about my pooping problems. I am sure everyone that has hung out with me in the past year and a half is sick and tired of listening to me complain. Nobody cares how disgusting of an animal us men are. I mean seriously how hard is it to go into a stall and lift the toilet seat up with their foot and pee in a bowl. Unfortunately if it was just a little pee I could probably deal with it, it everything else that ends up all over the place. Good God!

Enough is enough. As I laid curled up in the fetal position trying with all my might not to relax a certain circular muscle in fear I would have defiled The Best Friends back seat, I realised just how big of a deal I made it. For those of you that had to listen to me moan and grown I am sorry. If it was just that one time it would probably be okay, but it is every time I go out. So I'm done.

The next time I am sitting in a parking lot waiting for 20,000 cars to move so I could get to a nice, clean, and private porcelain toilet you wont here a peep. I wont mention a thing as I finally get out of the car because my bladder was about to explode, and walked over to a van full of people and politely asked "Do you mind if I piss behind your van?" Not caring that the road everyone was exiting on was on the other side of the van. I then realised just how few times I have tried to stand and pee (which I have done maybe 10 times in the last year) and try not to relax previously said muscle. Not a word will escape my lips.

I now have something to work on while The Misses is gone. Thank you to all my friends that have got me off this damn sofa. I truly appreciate it and look forward to doing it again. Misses I miss you very much and nobody has heard me bitch and moan more. This will be more of a blessing to you then anyone else.

P.S. I Love you Sweety

Letter from Iraq- 10 Aug 08

Excited and Bummed - Sunday, 10 August 2008

What a crazy feeling. I have never felt anything like it. How can one be excited and totally bummed out all at the same time over the very same thing? Well that is how I feel about this mobilization. If you are a soldier you can understand what I am talking about. Excited to go to war, you ask? Yes, I know it sounds crazy but imagine going to college, getting a degree but then never working in your field of study. If you are a soldier and never deploy then it is just like that. That is the excited part that is. The bummed out part is all about leaving my family and mostly my husband. Man this sucks! When people ask me how I feel about going I say, “I don’t mind going, I just don’t want to leave.”
So here I am, day 7 at Fort Hunter Liggett, California; the start of my mobilization to Iraq. For those of you that don’t know Fort Hunter Liggett is an Army Reserve training base whose mission is getting Soldiers ready to deploy. It is located approximately 3 hours south of San Francisco. Now granted I am here for training prior to going overseas but they are getting us in the mind set as if we are already there. I am exhausted! They are keeping us soooo busy. I can honestly say this is some of the best training I have ever received in my military career. I left for California last Monday, August 3rd. It was a sad good bye to all of my family and friends but mostly to my dear husband. I never imagined how hard it would be. It is a good thing my mind is busy most of the time with all this training or I would be a wreck. I can’t imagine what he is going through because I miss him sooo much! We have mostly focused on weapons training this last week. Today however, I had the best and scariest weapons training I have ever had. We did what’s called reflexive fire. This is when someone calls “threat to the…” left, right, rear, etc and you have to react, with a loaded rifle, with people around you that also have loaded rifles. You turn in the direction they say, point at the target and fire. Can you say nervous? Hell Yes! Needless to say no one was hurt or injured and the training went off well. It was actually really great. What an adrenaline rush.
While The Mr. has been sitting at home figuring out how to deal, I also learned a very valuable lesson today. I will no longer talk to family, friends or have my phone with me on the range or before any specific type of mission while down range. (For those of you that don’t know, down range or in the sand box both mean: while in Iraq) The reason for this is I have to be able to keep my head focused on the task at hand and not worrying about what is going on at home. This will keep me safe so that I can come home. I say this because not exactly before but a little while before I was about to go out to the firing line to complete this reflexive fire training, I received a text from The Mr. telling me that he posted a new blog. I thought hey great, I have the internet on my phone I’ll check it out. Well I started reading his last posting titled “A blank screen“ and got to the line that said “this SUCKS!” oh man, I got all worked up I couldn’t finish it. Not then. The emotions of not being with him completely overwhelmed me almost to the point that I couldn’t think straight. That is not what you need when you are about to be swinging weapons around with live ammunition in them. I tell you all this story so that you know when I don’t call it’s not because I don’t love and miss you with all my heart it’s because I can’t due to training, my mission, or I just need to keep my head clear so I can come home to you. When I talk to you, it reminds me of how much I miss you and how much I would rather be at home. Don’t worry everyone, I will call. Just not during the previous mentioned times.

I also learned something else about myself today I didn’t think I ever would have been able to do. Brace yourself because I am going to tell you something that might offend some of you, it’s not a political point of view it’s purely life or death choice. Since I joined the Army, they have been training me to kill. I have always wondered that when it came down to it, could I, would I do it? The answer is unfortunately yes. I hate the fact that it is. I can’t even begin to explain how much it sucks to think that I would. I am a nurse, I heal people not kill people. That is the way I have always felt about it but the Army trains you to do the opposite. When I began to read my husband’s blog just prior to my reflexive fire exercise and was reminded how much I love and miss him, I discovered that I will kill someone; if it is going to be one of us, it will be them and not me. I will come home to my husband so we can spend the rest of our lives together and raise a family. It’s harsh I know but going into a territory where it might happen, well I think I should know the answer so I don’t hesitate. Now don’t you worry, I know this is a serious subject but I really don’t think I will ever have to make that decision while I am over there. My job will be in a location that is pre-established and secured, well as best as it can be. But, there is a risk and it is an answer to a question I have always wondered.
Over all my training has been great thus far. Very thorough and actually quite fun. The weather is hot. Every day we work up a sweat and roll around in the dirt. Once you accept the fact that you will be carrying around at the very least 25 pounds of gear, getting dirty, hot and stinky, you just relax and have a good time with your friends as if you were not doing all that hard work. Speaking of friends. My closest friends here are an old friend CPT Jennifer Ysmael and my newest friend and battle buddy, SSG Adriana Galvan. So if you hear me talking about them, now you know. Jen might not be going with us to Iraq because she is currently an alternate; however the unit is working on changing that. For my sake, I hope they can add her to the list. As of right now I don’t know where I will end up. Even if I did know it would probably change 3 times before I got over there. Over the next year I will talk about what I do somewhat but I can’t be specific about locations and all my activities. The Army has rules about that kind of thing. Just know that I am thinking about you all and hope all is well. Take care and keep in touch. My personal email is gijenn8099@yahoo.com and my military email that you will for sure be able to reach me at is jennifer.taylor18@us.army.mil

A Blank Screen

I'm not one for wearing my emotion on my sleeve. The Misses left Monday, and I've been sitting here staring at this blank page for 6 days trying to decide what to say. I never understood just how hard it is on family members when a Soldier leaves for a deployment. Now that I'm on the other side I can tell you it SUCKS! My life is on hold. The Misses is currently in California for 6 weeks of training. She has mentioned that it has been hard being away from us, but they have kept her very busy training which helps to keep her distracted. She is also around several new and old friends to keep her busy. Me I have the Olympics and Jeter. Okay I know all my family and friends are here for me. It's just weird calling them and not feeling like a charity case. In the mean time I am hoping for a week together between training and Mobilizing in mid-September. This is the plan for now, but it's the military so you really never know.

I have several things on my "Honey Do List" (okay, so it's not so much The Misses Honey Do List as much as it's my To Do List) which will keep me busy while she is gone. This week I have found it is very hard just to get my ass off the sofa. I'm just in a bit of a funk. This coming week I will start putting things in place to keep me busy and my mind off of things.

Soon you will be able to read a new feature of my blog. The Misses will be sending me journal entries, to keep you up to date and informed on what she is up to and all the fun experience she is having. We figured it would just be easier for her to send me a Word document and I'll past it, just in case she can't access a blog site. The military is always changing what they can and can't access. So look forward to that.

Water Polo just came on. Now not only am I missing my wife I'm also missing all the good times in the pool. Maybe it's something else I can do to keep me busy.

P.S. The Misses and I are trying to figure out ways to keep us close while we are apart. If anyone has any ideas, we would love to hear them.

Heaven, I'm in Heaven

The Stadium, The House That Ruth Built call it what you want. I'm not going to say it was the greatest day in my life. That would just not be true, but I will say it is in the top five. When I opened my anniversary present I really couldn't believe my eyes. I honestly didn't think we would be going to see Yankee Stadium before it closed. you can imagine how excited I was. The night before was worse then Christmas eve. I was so excited.

We got there a few hours early. I wanted all the time I could get to soak in all the sites and sounds. Before we went I really couldn't understand why they wanted to close its door, but now I know. The Stadium is old and pretty run down. The restrooms were horrible. They were spaced far enough apart that I bet each bathroom serviced two or three thousand people. The bathrooms were small and had five urinals on each side of the wall. The four small toilets in the restroom I had to endure were horrible. Three of them didn't flush (which didn't stop people from using them) and the one that did work, was so dirty I'm sure I caught some disgusting disease just hovering over. I have never hated that fact that I have to got to the bathroom so often as I did then.

The tickets were much harder to get then The Misses was expecting. A gentleman my Mom works with has family in New York that had told her she would be able to get us a couple of tickets. Two weeks before we were to leave he still hadn't gotten our tickets. Finally he told her that his family wasn't able to get any tickets. My Mom was very upset. She went to work searching the Internet for several hours. She finally found a site that said they had tickets, but she needed to call instead of ordering them online. She called and the gentleman said they did have some tickets. When she ordered them she was under the impression that she could have spent more and gotten ones that had waiter service and were closer then the ones she got. Well as you can see the seats were better then she thought. Five rows up from the first base line. There were only four heads in front of us. It was incredible. In case you are wondering, yes it did have a waiter service: Can you guess what 2) hot dogs, 2) Small bags of chips, 1) bag of peanuts, and 2) beers cost...$40.00 not including the tips.

We did do other things while we were there. We took a boat ride down the East River and around the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. We walked down to see Ground Zero, which was nothing but a huge construction zone. One night we went to a local Brewery and had dinner and ended up drinking with a Coast Guardsman, a Girl from Florida, and an Engineer from Austria. One night we went to Broadway and saw RENT. I had seen it before when it came to Salt Lake. Each time we go on a long road trip The Misses and I listen to the soundtrack. It is unfortunate the movie didn't do the musical justice. It is an incredible roller coaster of highs and lows. I am glad we were able to see it before it closes on Sept 7. It was a great trip. I can't stand to be in crowds and that's all there was everywhere. The Misses wishes she would have been able to shop more (another thing I hate doing). She figured what's the point when she is not going to be around for over a year to use it, so she didn't seem to mind too much that we didn't. I told her when we were leaving that I was glad I was able to see New York, but the only reason I can see going back was to take our son or daughter to Yankee Stadium when they are in their teens. Over all it was a great trip.