A Simple Addition Problem?

Start With 40%- for Ulcerative Colitis status Post Colectomy
Add 30%- for a Right Total Hip Arthroplasty
Plus 0%- for a Left Hip with Avascular Necrosis
Add 30%- for a Cognitive Disorder (Memory Loss)
Plus 10%- having lived through Bacterial Meningitis
Add on Special compensation for loss of a Creative Organ
Equals at least 110% Right?
No, according to the Veterans Administration it’s worth 70%. Calm down Travis. I think they are actually pretty close. Yes it's pretty shitty (Literally), but really I work full time and I'm able to carry on with life. Sure there are things I will never be able to do (Climb Everest, sleep in a sleeping bag, sleep through the night without getting up twice to go to the bathroom, make a baby the good old fashioned way…), but all in all life is good. 70% plus special compensation equals $1,429.00 a month. That’s $171,480 tax free every ten years. Does that fully compensate someone for a misdiagnosis? Me? I think it is fine. And maybe I’ll make it to 140% when I get a new Left Hip. That might get me to 80%. Aw who am I kidding, it will probably make me lose a few percentages. Maybe I'll end up with 60%?

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Christmas was here before we knew it and by far the best present we got was a 5 AM phone call. The Misses had her choice of holidays of this year. It was either Thanksgiving or Christmas not both (one of the drawbacks of being a nurse). This year Thanksgiving was at the In-Laws house so she chose to take that day off. It was a good choice, we had a great time. However, as Christmas fast approached we both were a little bummed we would spend another Christmas apart. She played with the idea of picking up an extra shift a day or two before Christmas. This would make Christmas day overtime for her (this may put her at the top of the list of getting called off). In the end it looked like her work wasn’t going to give her the extra shift so we would just have to deal with her working that day.

Christmas Eve we spent at Mom and Pops house. The Misses spent the day learning how to make Grandma’s rolls. It was one of those things I insisted she learned…just in case. That night we had a glass of wine, rack of lamb, sweet potatoes, and of course White Christmas. No Christmas Eve would be complete without Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney and Vera-LongAssLeggs-Ellen, and of course Pops and Me belting out “Snow, Snow, Snow, Snow”. After we open our present from Mom (pajamas and slippers as always) we went home. We both moped around for a bit wishing she didn’t have to go to work in the morning.

The Misses woke up a few times and checked her phone, hoping she missed a phone call. No Luck. We got up around 5 AM so we could shower and get ready. As we were walking out the door her phone rang. I thought it was Bailey calling asking where I was. Usually my nieces and nephews have to wait for everyone to show up at my parents before they can dive into their stacks of presents. But no, it was The Misses work. They were saying they have been trying to call since 4 AM, but The Misses phone had zero missed call. She was called off. The Misses jumped around the kitchen like a kid that just got that coveted gift that was on the top of her list. She changed into her pajamas and we drove over to my parents.

The day flew by. My favorite moment was watching my pops read his book me and The Misses made for him. We took all his pictures and medals from Vietnam, scanned them and put them into an album. I wrote a short little bit in the beginning of the album that brought tears to his eyes. For The Misses I took her Aunt/ Grandmas old cedar chest and refinished it. I stripped it down (I know it makes it less valuable but it was in bad shape) and thenspent hours apon hours refinishing it. One of the legs was completely broke in half. I asked my Uncle Dave to make her a new one. He took one of them and produced four new legs. They were a perfect match. It was amazing what he could do with a piece of wood and a table saw. I’m not one to brag (too much) but it looks gooood. I love Christmas’s that your favorite gifts aren’t the ones you get but the ones you give.

Jeter had a big day. His bone was twice as big as him. He couldn’t even pick it up. After a few days I pulled out the saw and cut it in two.

Last night as we officially put Christmas away. As we were gathering all the stuff and put them away Jeter got his second present. A white elephant gift. He had been eyeing this stuff snowman I had won at the Taylor Christmas party. He had stared at it for minutes before I would always say “don’t even think about it buddy.” He would turn and walk away, but always take a look back. As we gathered all the various items cluttering (I mean adorning) our shelves, I put the snowman on the floor and walked away. It took Jeter all of a minute to have a hole in it. Ten minutes later we had stuffing everywhere. Last night instead of the normal ball he brings to bed, it was the carcass. I woke up with stuffing everywhere and he woke up with a smile.