Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I think it's called OCD


"So, what you going to do tomorrow?" I asked Little Dickie on our way home from fight night.

"I don't know? Guess I should do some yard work?" He says with a slight drunken slur.
I wanted to say something about your lawn looking like it needed to be fertilized.
"I hate yard work! It isn't like I can keep up with my neighbor across the road. She crawls around and picks the weeds out by hand! Doesn't she have anything better to do!" He flips off the house as we drive by.

I couldn't tell his drunk ass then, but "dude, I do too!"

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

A Bookmark?

Have you ever left something out and remembered it when it was too late?
Late one night as I started reading a book I came to a point I needed to stop. I reached into the nightstand for anything to save my spot. Turns out it was a "how to pamphlet" for the Trojan Vibrating Ring. At the time I thought it would do.
I don't know how the book ended up on our coffee table, but it did. This past weekend my Sister Jeda and her friend La Dragon stayed the night before "The Big Surprise" (I'm sure there will be more to come on the event in Jeda's blog). As we sat chatting that morning Jeda reached over and picked up the book. It opened to the spot I had stopped and her eyes lite up.
"A Trojan Vibrating Ring? What the...." I immediately went red and got real warm, but ended up laughing it off. A few minutes later I was putting the dishes away in the dishwasher when I heard Jeda and The Misses talking.

"I don't get it?" Studying the pictures in the pamphlet. "Does the hole condom vibrate?"

"No. No. No. It's a ring that goes on.........." The Misses explains.

"Oh, I see." Both Jeda and La Dragon said in unison as the light went on in their heads.

A few minutes pass before The Misses chimed in. "It works really really well for both people, in case you were wondering."