Great Christmas Presents!

I never grew up around guns. My Pops has never been one to go out hunting for the occasional beast. He has been known to have said "Once you have hunted humans, a helpless deer just isn't much fun." It really doesn't bother me. It isn't like we needed that to help us bond. We have always had a great relationship. I can remember Cousin Josh finding out that Pops didn't own a gun. He just could not understand why. I have always enjoyed shooting. Growing up I spent many hours behind Aunt Cheryl's house with Josh looking for birds. To be honest I don't remember me ever killing one, Josh on the other hand was a Killing Machine. I am sure with as much time as we spent out in that field I would have at least hit one, but the memory of it has faded.

Besides the Red Rider BB gun, the only guns I have owed was the ones the Army had issued to me, and unfortunately they frown on Soldiers taking them home to practice with. About two weeks before Christmas this year The Misses and I had our friends Little Dickie and his wife over to watch a fight and have a few pops. I don't know what got me on the subject (to be honest I don't remember really saying it. Of course I don't remember a lot of things), but I decided I really wanted them to know I wanted a hand gun. I have always wanted one, but couldn't see me spending that much money. I guess that night I went on and on how I wanted a .40 caliber handgun. "I wanted more stopping power then a 9mm, but didn't want a gun that would go through quit so many walls as a .45 ......." I supposedly made quit a fuss.

Little did I know The Misses had in fact went out with Little Dickie and purchased me just what I had wanted, a .40 Caliber Heckler and Koch killing, I mean protecting device. After I got over the fact that she went WAY, WAY, WAY over her $50 budget. I truly couldn't have been happier.

A few weekends ago The Misses and I signed up for a Concealed Carry Weapons Permit class. We both have been around weapons in the military. But anyone with such a deadly device should take every class they can to learn more about them (that's our humble opinion). I had searched the Internet and there were about 200 people qualified to teach the class. I started to inquire and came across Welden Anderson (aka Gun Master). His class seemed to take things one step further then the rest. So we signed up.

You can tell Gun Master was in the military by his emails. Very structured, with and emphasis on punctuation. The class started at 0800 sharp. He began the class by going through all the class that he has taken:

- Utah Certified Firearms Instructor
- Police Academy graduate
- FBI Citizens Academy graduate
- Provo SWAT (Threat Management Group)
trained in Edged Weapons Defense I, II
- Counter-Terrorism Institute of America
trained in Tactical Pistol
- And about 15 other classes, always quick to point out he was the Distinguished Honor Graduate for most of the classes. When I say this guy lays in bed at night thinking about blowing someone away, I mean it. If I was ever in an area where there was an active shooter I would want this guy in the area too. He started showing us his guns and where he cared them (notice I used the plural form of this). A full size .40 caliber Glock on his right hip, a .40 caliber mini Glock on his right butt, and a knife in his left pocket. When we asked if he carried a gun on his ankle he went into a rant about not giving away your hand in poker (so yes, a gun on his ankle). To make a long story shorter, lets just say he is a bit out of control.

The class was great. He went through the laws and as many scenarios as he could in the 8 hr class. The bottom line of his class could be summed up by; If you pull out your hand gun for any reason, pull out your check book with the other hand cause its going to cost you no matter what. At the end of the class was supposed to be the time we went up on the range to fire. I was really looking forward to some teaching from someone other than the army. Unfortunately it was getting late and The Misses and I had to get home. So we didn't get the opportunity.

A week or so later we went together and fired the hand gun. I am not as good as the Gun Master but with practice Eagle Eye Taylor will be even deadlier.

P.S. I would like to thank The Misses brother The Missionary for supplying us with the target. As soon as The Misses opened her Christmas Present I knew exactly how we could use it (either as a door mat to wipe our feet, or a target).

CNA's should be paid much, much more

I know, you all are asking what has he been up to? Well, for the past two days I have been laying in the hospital bed playing a patient. I got a little stomach bug that did a number to me. I really didn't see it coming. Tuesday morning I woke up and my stomach was acting a little weird, eight hours later and 20 BM's I was at my second home St. Marks Hospital. I am fine now, a little groggy, really bored and really missing Jeter (oh yah and The Misses).
It's amazing how quick I know, usually within one sentence how good or not so good a nurse is. Now don't think this is going to be a bag on nurses piece. As you should know by now I have great respect for anyone that takes care of the sick. But some are just better with their bedside manners than others. Once I am assessed by a nurse they can see I am going to be an "easy" patient. This means I can get up by myself, I'm not going to press the nurses button for anything other then my IV pump is empty, I don't complain about how shitty I feel..... I am easy (okay so there was that whole Bacterial Meningitis thing, but I truly wasn't coherent for a good deal of that time). Right off the bat the nurses that are assigned to watch over me can see I am "easy" so I don't see much of them.
Having said all that there are the nurses who truly care. Maybe they are just better at showing it, because I'm sure most nurses care or why would they be there. They still don't pay much attention but when they do their mind seems to be only on me and not the drug addicted naked guy that is streaking past my door. They take their time and assess what is going on, then it on to the next patient. At the end of their shift they stop in for one more check and see if there is something they have missed. Others may say goodnight as they are walking past the door with the cell phone to their ears and eyes focused on the door. I have no doubt that The Misses falls in the first category of these nurses. At least that's what gives me hope that's the reason she is always late is because she is taking care of patients and not banging a Doctor in the supply closet as Grays Anatomy would lead everyone to believe.
The bottom line is nurses I understand, I get. CNA's on the other hand are people I will never understand why they do what they do. For those of you that don't spend much time in the hospital CNA's are the nurses muscles. For the most part they are the ones getting patients up to go the bathroom, showering, and getting drinks. Here's the thing I don't get. I have never met an ornery CNA. If I was the CNA that had to take care of me, and remember I am easy. If after every time I used the bathroom I had to come in and write down how much and consistency I would be ornery. Let a lone if I had to take care of all the hard patients. To top it all off they don't make squat! All I have to say is god bless them. There is a lot of things I would do for money, but there is no way I could do that and stay happy. Let a lone look the patient in the eye after.

Worse than the Army's Salisbury Steak

Its that time of year again. Time for my yearly scope. The scope truly isn't that bad, it is only a prick of a needle and time to take a nap. Now the day before, that is another story.

It was three months ago that my doctors office gave me a set of instructions and two small box's. I have been dreading today ever since. Just thinking about it gives me chills. I don't know if I am just a puss, have a low gag threshold, or a little bit of both but I can't stand this stuff. I am positive, the Nazis came up with this shit to torture the POW in WWII. When Fleet got a hold of it they put a little flavoring to it (Ginger-Lemon) and called it a cleansing solution. I am pretty sure it is the nastiest stuff I have ever had to endure.

I will never forget one cold January afternoon in Grafenwoehr Germany. We were playing war and hadn't had a decent meal in two day. As we saw our First Sergeant drive up to our location our spirits lifted. Finally hot chow. I remember standing in line thinking this was going to be better than anything I had ever eaten. Yes, better than Grandma's Homemade Rolls, Mom's Augrotten Potatoes, even better than Dad's Potato Pie. I should have realised something was out of whack when they dished my helping onto my tray and there was no steam rising from it. It was January in Germany, and no steam? This should have been a clue what I was in for. But I was so hungry it didn't register. As I cut me off a chunk of the Salisbury Steak and plopped it in my mouth, my dreams were immediately crushed. It was ice cold. The grease that had once been the savory sauce had turned into a slimy jello. As it hit my tongue it felt like someone had spit a large luggy in my mouth. I was so hungry I just kept going. It was about the third or fourth bite that made me stop. As I tried to swallow the cool piece of meet I got the swets and everything came up. It was a a horrible horrible meal. Its hard to believe that I would ever have anything that compared to that.

Congratulations Fleet! You win the prize. It truly is as bad as it gets. Even worse than the Salisbury Steak.

I would continue, but my stomach is gurgling and its time to run (literally)!