Chained to a toilet...Part 11

I am sure the 6 people that are reading my blog with regularity can't wait for the next instalment. Truth be told he is having a very difficult time remembering. The last few chapters have been mostly written by The Misses. Sure it is the Soldier that is making the horrible grammatical mistakes but it is her telling him what happened. So from what he has been told this is what happened next:

The Soldier woke up the day of the surgery happy as pig in Sh*t. No more bag!!! There wasn't as much fan fair with this one. He didn't have to drink any of that nasty "go juice." There was no crying on the couch. It was time to move on to the next chapter of life.

He went into this surgery not knowing as much about it. The surgery to remove his colon he spent hours on the internet researching. He was under the impression that they would reconnect his plumbing and everything would be great. Little did he know his life was about to change.

When he came too he was back in a room with the usual cast of characters watching over him. The first thing he did was feel where the bag once was. A feeling of joy went threw his body. The surgery was a sucess. The surgery had lasted three hours. Dr. Bubba was able to connect the small intestine to his rectum. He was given another PCA pump but was in significantly less pain. That first day nothing much happened. He was able to make a few laps around his ward and even able to eat some green jello.

The next day he woke up to some familiar chills. He immediately remembered the second day after his last surgery and how sick he was. Lucky for him he had the same nurse that took care of him the day he was sick. He pressed the button and in she came. She quickly gave him a basin and up everything came. It didn't hurt as bad as last time, but it still brought tears. She pumped his IV full of medicine to make him stop vomiting. The rest of the day he spent lying in his bed.

That night things started moving again. It is hard to describe how different it feels when he needs to use the bathroom. He no longer could hold it. When it is there, it is there. That day he probably went to the bathroom ten to twelve times. He really wishes he would have known that the night before would be the last night he slept all the way through without getting up. That night he was awaken to the need to go four times. It was the fifth that would embarrass the hell out of him.

The Soldier had been having night sweats for about a month. When he woke up and he was soaking wet he thought it was the night sweats. He got up and went to the restroom and that is when he noticed his gown. He had an "accident." Are you freaking kidding me? What am I 2 years old again, he sat and thought. He went back into the room and was mortified. There was a huge stain. He quickly gathered his bedding and took it off the bed. Now for the hard part. He grabbed his IV stand and went to the nurses station. There sat this cute 18 year old CNA. While looking at the ground he whispered to her. "I think I had an accident." She stood up and said "it happens all the time. No need to be embarrassed." No need to be embarrassed! He wasn't a child and this doesn't happen all the time! He thought. She walked into the room with him and she smiled. "You didn't need to take down the bedding. That is what I am for." She stated. "Yes, I did have too." He mumbled. Unfortunately this would be the first of many "accidents".

Besides the accidents at night the other thing he was dealing with is the amount of times he would have to go to the bathroom. During an ulcerative colitis flair he would use the bathroom between 8 and 12 times. As bad as he thought that was this was worse. After the surgery he was going to the bathroom 12 to 15 times through out the day and night. At night it was 4 to 5 times. For some reason he thought that once he had this second surgery everything would go back to normal. He was sorely mistaken.

The goal for someone in this situation is 5 times a day. It could take up to 2 years to get there. The pouch Dr. Bubba created would eventually stretch. It would never get to the size of a colon but it would stretch so it could hold a little. On one of his check-ups he discussed this with Dr. Bubba. He told her if he had know he would be going this much he would have just stayed with the ileostomy. She understood his concerns. If it stayed like this he would never be able to mountain bike, hike, or do all the things he use to love. It isn't like he could just stop off the side of a trail and go to the bathroom. He would need porcelain or something resembling it close by at all times. Dr. Bubba told him if after two years his pouch didn't expand and he was still using the bathroom this much. She would go in and undo the connection and he could go back to the ileostomy. As much as it sucks to think about living with the bag attached to his stomach the rest of his life. Being chained to the toilet is much worse.

His poor bum was so chafed. The Misses gave him the idea to use baby wipes instead of TP, and to put diaper rash ointment on after to provide a barrier. Maybe he was a child again.