Nothing Funny About U.C. Part 13 "The Memory Olympics"

It finally happened. Ever since the bout with Listeria my memory has been a bit off. When it first happened it was really off. I couldn't remember anything from one day to the next. It really hit home one afternoon when The Misses began saying how amazing (I may be embellishing just a bit) the night before was. I had no idea what she was talking about. Now my memory isn't that bad, but it still isn't what it was before I got sick.

The VA set up an appointment with a Neuro Psychologist for a memory test. They are trying to determine how much memory loss occurred because of the Listeria. Depending on how much memory loss occurred the VA may provide me with compensation.

The test started more like an interview. He asked me about my grades and life in high school and college. Luckily he didn't ask for the transcripts from college. It was much easier to tell how much better I did in the military when I figured out what I could do with a little discipline. Then he started to ask me random questions. "Where is the Sahara Desert? Who was Martin Luther King Jr? At what temperature does water boil?" I knew all of them but "Who was president during the civil war?" For some reason I was thinking revolutionary war. Anyways I was wrong.

Then the Memory Olympics began. He started out by reading me a paragraph. All I had to do was listen and repeat back what I heard. Sounds easy right? As he began I really tried paying attention, by the third sentence I couldn't even remember the lady's name the paragraph was about. There was so much information in such a short paragraph. Needless to say I didn't do well. Luckily I got to hear it two more times. Each time I remembered a bit more. Right after in the same voice he read me another paragraph one time. It really threw me off, I couldn't remember a thing. Maybe I got the guys name and something about a storm that would bring temperatures down 15 degrees. I don't know. I looked at him with a blank stare and he said "Okay, lets move on."

I think next he gave me a design on a piece of paper. There were lines all over the page forming different shapes. During this one, all I had to do was copy what I saw. Not a problem. After having a great High School Art Teacher, I nailed it. He quickly grabbed both pieces of paper and put a book in front of me. Now I had to just look at pictures and tell him what was wrong with them. It started out simple. A door without a door knob. A fence without a post. But after twenty-five or thirty I couldn't see anything wrong with them. All he said was "Okay" as he wrote something in his notes. Whatever confidence I had from the picture I drew was gone.

The next event in this two hour Memory Olympics was a list of twenty words that he went over four times. After he finished each time I had to tell him what words I remembered. It was amazing as he was saying the words on right after another I got hung up on a word and would miss three or four. I would realise I was missing them so panic set in. I tried to listen more carefully. I couldn't remember many. Each time was a bit better, but never great. Immediately after he read me a different list and I had to remember them. All I could think about was Horse, Moon, Parent, Spoon the last four words from the previous list. He just sat there looking at me as I stared out the window trying to remember anything. As soon as he knew I was finished he pulled a piece of paper out with fifty or sixty words on it. Some from the first list, some from the second and just a bunch of random words. Come to think of it they were all random. He asked me to circle the words just from the first list. I could recognise a few, but I am sure I missed a bunch.

There were a few more events like these. He then handed me a blank paper and asked me to draw the design from earlier, you remember the one I nailed. I got the outline of the design and a few of the lines in the middle and I was lost. I was sick of looking up at him with this worthless feeling. He took the paper from me and handed me four pages. On them were numbers with objects next to them. I could tell some of the objects made up the design I just tried to draw. He asked me to circle the numbers of the objects that were from the design. By page four I realised I was circling the object and not the number. I began wondering if I screwed that one up too. There was so many shapes that they all started to look like they might be able to work. He took the paper and said only a few more.

Now he wanted me for sixty seconds to list all the words I could think of that started with the letter "A". The only words I couldn't use were proper names or pronouns. "Go" he said as he pushed the button on the stop watch. I know your thinking easy, right? You try it. Easy at first, like all his test. I started with "Apple, Art, Army..."The first thirty seconds were easy. Then "Ass" popped in my head. "No don't say ass! No don't say Ass. Ass Hole! no no something else" I couldn't get it out of my head, "Um," I uttered "Ant, Aunt". "Ass hole, Anal no no no." finally I heard the stop watch beep. "Okay now the letter F". Good hell what is he doing to me. You can imagine the first word that popped in my head.

He finally said "Okay, know tell me everything you remember from the first paragraph I read to you. I'll give you a hint it was about a lady." I'm sure I looked at him like a deer in the head lights. "Ummmmm, Something about her being a lunch lady....." I could remember a few things, but not much. "Okay, and the second paragraph, it was about a guy". I could remember very little.

Once I was finally finished he told me that he had to go over all the information. But from giving these test for as long as he had, he was fairly certain they would come back that I did in fact have some memory issues. He explained that he would take the results of my test and compare them nationally to people my age and see how I did. He also told me another comparison he would do, but wouldn't you know I don't remember it. He mentioned that there are some real issues in my short term memory, as well as in my concentration which was related to the memory functions of the brain.

We began to talk about my memory and how it may be as good as it was going to get. He really didn't know. I may be on a plateau, and as my brain continues to heal it could get better. But this may well be as good as it gets. I asked him about going back to school. He really didn't think it would be a good idea right now. He recommended I wait another couple of years to see if my memory does improve. If I don't wait and try now he felt I would have a very hard time with it.

So there it is, I may in fact have memory issues. I do what I can to compensate for them. I take a lot of notes with most any task I do. I really try not to have any "serious" conversations late at night. I'm just very grateful I have a wonderful and very understanding wife. I will always remember when told how wonderful last night was. Answer it with "Yeah, I really nailed it!"