Medieval Torture Device

So tomorrow is another day in the adventure of Mark and his attempt to leave this earth with less parts or now better parts then he came with. To be honest I am not so worried about the fact they are cutting into my groin, dislocating my leg, cutting the top 3 or so inches off my femur, drilling down the femur so a titanium piece can be be pounded into place this will act like my old femur head, a large drill bit will be inserted in my hip and bone will be ground away so a titanium cup can be put in, and finally they will shove the two pieces back together and I will have my new hip. Nope none of that scares me. Certainly a little anesthesia and the potential side effect don't faze me anymore.
What scares the shit out of me is this....

Notice in this nice picture the lady is wearing some yellow tight outfit of some sort. Me, all I will have is my birthday suit on.

The first time I saw this I was sitting in a class the surgeons office holds every month to teach those that are about to go through this what to expect. As I sat in the classroom it was easy to see I was the youngest person by about....oh I don't know...30 maybe 35 years. The teacher actual told the lady sitting next to me that it was nice her great grandchild was there to learn what she was going to be going through. When she got to this picture in the slide show, everyone gasped. "Now don't worry" she explains. "I always ask everyone if they remember getting on the table and none of them do." Well, that is good to know.
But all this has reminded me I better get going. I need to go do a little "manicuring". I haven't been with The Misses in so long it is a little scary down there...
Oh,and wait until I am all messed up on pain meds. I will tell you all the story of how The Misses and I were caught having a little Web Cam Sex.