“Oh look at the pretty snow, the pretty mountains; I wonder how cold it is, squirrel….TREE!

What a great weekend. Our friends Rich (aka Alice) and his wife Sarah (aka Speed Racer) invited me and The Misses (aka Speed Racer II) to spend a long super bowl weekend in West Yellowstone. The weekend started out with some could be horrific accidents, but turned out to be a whole lot of fun.

We arrived in West Yellowstone around 5 on Friday afternoon. We had loaded up the trailer with food, snow mobiles, and a lot of warm clothes. However, one missing item was beer (oh yah, and meat). We decided to unload the sleds and ride them to the small ass grocery store. I hadn’t been on a sled since I was very young on Aunt Diane’s farm. I was a little nervous but more excited to get out and go. The Misses had never been on one. It was a little dark but the ride there went off without a hitch. On the way back we made it to the hotel when someone went flying past us on a sled. I didn’t think much of it, but Alice was a little pissed. He knew it was his innocent little wife. We all met up at the trailer except for Sarah. After a minute Alice drove away a little more pissed. He thought she had gotten a ticket or broke down while dinking around. The Misses and I heard his sled stop and turn off right by the entrance to the Hotel. Once we saw him running our hearts dropped and we took off. As I arrived Sarah (Speed Racer) was doubled over on her sled, her helmet was twenty feet away. The Misses ran up and started assessing. She couldn’t move her leg, and had a bloody nose. She had no idea what happened. The Misses deduced that a trip to the hospital was not necessary and Alice drove her to the front entrance of the Hotel. The Misses took her up to the room and started doctoring her up.

Alice came back to Speed Racers sled and we tried and tried to get the damn thing started. Years before the Kill switch had broken off, but still worked because it couldn’t be pushed down to engage it. Unfortunately for us there was snow packed into the little hole and had engaged the switch. Three hours later in the cold dark of night Alice figured out how to get the wires out and we got the thing running. In that time we decided Speed Racer must have in fact, rolled the sled. The windshield was cracked and the snow that was in the switch couldn’t have gotten there any other way. As we went to load the sleds Alice went to get the keys and wallet out of his coat and wouldn’t you know his wallet was missing. Already a little pissed we started roaming around looking for a camouflaged wallet in a whole crap load of snow. We eventually found it in a little crevasse of the sled we were working on. When it was all over we were just very thankful Speed Racer was okay. She was very soar and a little loopy, but other than her pride and a huge bruise on her butt cheek she was okay.

After a few beers and a shitty night sleep we got up and went for a ride. Speed Racer wasn’t feeling up to it, so Alice was left with us newbies. It was an absolutely beautiful day. We were riding on a huge trail that had been grated so it was nice and smooth. We were cruising along Alice led, The Misses followed, and I brought up the rear. No further than a half mile into this lovely ride, the trail made a slight left turn (I need to emphasize this is a beginners trail, it is made for a nice easy ride. The trail was probably 15 feet wide and well worn). I watched Alice make a nice easy turn and was watching The Misses. I believe she was thinking something like this, “Oh look at the pretty snow, the pretty mountains, I wonder how cold it is, squirrel….TREE!” At that slight turn, The Misses (Speed Racer II) ran through shoulder deep snow and straight into a tree. I pulled up next to her as she hopped out of the waist deep snow. “I’m okay” she shouted. My heart slowed a little, but then I saw the sled. It was bashed up. I trudged through the snow and the two of us tried to pull it backwards. I wanted to get it back on the trail before Alice came back. It took him ten minutes to get back and I had moved the sled 2 feet. He was glad she was okay and the two of us worked on getting it out of the snow. I’m still soar. I am glad he was there and knew what the hell he was doing. It still took us four tries to get it back on the trail. Alice was able to bungee cord the hood down so our day wasn’t lost. I asked Speed Racer II what happened and she said, “I looked up and there was a tree.” When I asked about the breaks she said something about not getting traction to turn so how would her breaks work? I think they didn’t even cross her mind. Again all I cared about was that she was okay. It was a pretty funny sight to see her flying off backwards in the snow.

With the bungee cord working we continued on, a little more slowly this time. About a half hour later I noticed the temperature gauge on my sled rising. I watched it for a minute before I decide to let Alice know. I didn’t know if the gauge rising was a problem or not but didn’t want to risk it. I flew past The Misses and caught up to Alice. We stopped and checked it out and there was a hole in one of the cooling lines. Our snowmobiling trip was finished. We attached my sled to Alice’s sled with more bungee cord and we made the long trip back with me riding along doing nothing but checking out the scenery. It was a nice trip back but I was glad when it was over. Not much fun in the back of another sled eating all the snow getting thrown on you.

Alice and I made the excuse that we were going to go see if we could find a part to fix the sled I was riding so we could go out the next day. We did go to one shop and ask if they had the part. We knew they probably wouldn’t, it was an old sled and a specific part. Mostly we wanted a cider. Last summer when The Misses and I were there we went to a brewery that had hard cider on tap. Once Alice new of this fact we were trying to find any excuse to get there for a sip or two. After three we decided to go back to the hotel. With the sled not working we booked a trip the next day to go through Yellowstone. Then it was time for dinner and wouldn’t you know we suggested the brewery. So back we went. The waitress had a hard time keeping a straight face. She had known what we were doing earlier. After two or three more ciders we might have let it slip what we had been up to earlier. The Misses knows me well, she knew the whole time, Speed Racer wasn’t too pleased. That night we ended up in the hot tub. It’s amazing how you get a little alcohol in someone and they get the idea it would be fun to go out in the snow for a while. I’m just glad it’s all a little hazy, unfortunately it is possible that Speed Racer got us back by video taping it.

The red sled picked us up at 9:00 the next morning. There was only one other couple in the 12 person snowmobile. It was a great experience. It was a little noisy in the back of the contraption. It reminded me of all the times I spent in the back of a Bradley Fighting Vehicle while I was in the Infantry. On our way in the park we didn’t see many animals. The views were great. Everything had frost on it. Each branch glistened in the sunlight. Yellowstone in the winter is nothing like it is in the summer. It’s much much better. There aren’t as many people (not even close), the animals are more active, and you have to enter the park with a guide. Lee was great, he wasn’t as good as Nino (our guide in the Vatican) but he had a lot of good info and let us dictate the pace. When the day started we thought of asking if we could cut the trip a little short because of the super bowl, once the day started we didn’t even worry about it.

A couple of side notes. First, if you have never been to Yellowstone in the winter, GO! Lee, our guide was saying that the rules which govern vehicles in the park during the winter may change after next year and they may not allow vehicles for several different factors in the near future. Second, pay attention to the trail/road while driving a snowmobile. Speed Racer and Speed Racer II are lucky something worse didn’t happen. Finally, stop in at the brewery and order a Hard Cider. There isn’t much better.

To Rich and Sarah, thanks for a great weekend and a great friendship. We are already looking forward to our next trip together.

Movin on up

So tomorrow it starts. For the first time in my life I am showing up to work in a shirt and tie. It feels good. I finally feel like a little more than a grunt (slang for an infantryman). Truthfully I finally started working in my new position about three weeks ago. It has been a long time coming. I don’t even remember when I actually was offered the job, I think it was back in October. So what’s the new job? I’m the Lead Purchasing Agent for the Hospital. I get to work with two other purchasing agents and the three of us get to order all the medical supplies the hospital uses on a daily basis. Everything from cotton balls to stents used in the Cardiology Lab. There is a lot of pressure. Nurses like to show up at 3 O’clock on a Wednesday afternoon needing some medical supply for an operation Thursday morning. I think I’m really going to like it. Roger and Tracie are great people to work with. I don’t think they know what they are in for. Last week the two of them were inspected to make sure they are abiding by all the rules. They did really well. However, at the end Tracie asked how come they were only given a “Success” rating. The inspector knew that all the filing hadn’t been done (she use to work in the same position years earlier). She explained that very rarely she would give out an “Excellent”. I knew right then what I wanted. I’m not giving a time frame right now on when the three of us will get an “Excellent” rating. But it will happen.

A Simple Addition Problem?

Start With 40%- for Ulcerative Colitis status Post Colectomy
Add 30%- for a Right Total Hip Arthroplasty
Plus 0%- for a Left Hip with Avascular Necrosis
Add 30%- for a Cognitive Disorder (Memory Loss)
Plus 10%- having lived through Bacterial Meningitis
Add on Special compensation for loss of a Creative Organ
Equals at least 110% Right?
No, according to the Veterans Administration it’s worth 70%. Calm down Travis. I think they are actually pretty close. Yes it's pretty shitty (Literally), but really I work full time and I'm able to carry on with life. Sure there are things I will never be able to do (Climb Everest, sleep in a sleeping bag, sleep through the night without getting up twice to go to the bathroom, make a baby the good old fashioned way…), but all in all life is good. 70% plus special compensation equals $1,429.00 a month. That’s $171,480 tax free every ten years. Does that fully compensate someone for a misdiagnosis? Me? I think it is fine. And maybe I’ll make it to 140% when I get a new Left Hip. That might get me to 80%. Aw who am I kidding, it will probably make me lose a few percentages. Maybe I'll end up with 60%?

Some toys may not be suitable for young children.

Christmas was here before we knew it and by far the best present we got was a 5 AM phone call. The Misses had her choice of holidays of this year. It was either Thanksgiving or Christmas not both (one of the drawbacks of being a nurse). This year Thanksgiving was at the In-Laws house so she chose to take that day off. It was a good choice, we had a great time. However, as Christmas fast approached we both were a little bummed we would spend another Christmas apart. She played with the idea of picking up an extra shift a day or two before Christmas. This would make Christmas day overtime for her (this may put her at the top of the list of getting called off). In the end it looked like her work wasn’t going to give her the extra shift so we would just have to deal with her working that day.

Christmas Eve we spent at Mom and Pops house. The Misses spent the day learning how to make Grandma’s rolls. It was one of those things I insisted she learned…just in case. That night we had a glass of wine, rack of lamb, sweet potatoes, and of course White Christmas. No Christmas Eve would be complete without Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney and Vera-LongAssLeggs-Ellen, and of course Pops and Me belting out “Snow, Snow, Snow, Snow”. After we open our present from Mom (pajamas and slippers as always) we went home. We both moped around for a bit wishing she didn’t have to go to work in the morning.

The Misses woke up a few times and checked her phone, hoping she missed a phone call. No Luck. We got up around 5 AM so we could shower and get ready. As we were walking out the door her phone rang. I thought it was Bailey calling asking where I was. Usually my nieces and nephews have to wait for everyone to show up at my parents before they can dive into their stacks of presents. But no, it was The Misses work. They were saying they have been trying to call since 4 AM, but The Misses phone had zero missed call. She was called off. The Misses jumped around the kitchen like a kid that just got that coveted gift that was on the top of her list. She changed into her pajamas and we drove over to my parents.

The day flew by. My favorite moment was watching my pops read his book me and The Misses made for him. We took all his pictures and medals from Vietnam, scanned them and put them into an album. I wrote a short little bit in the beginning of the album that brought tears to his eyes. For The Misses I took her Aunt/ Grandmas old cedar chest and refinished it. I stripped it down (I know it makes it less valuable but it was in bad shape) and thenspent hours apon hours refinishing it. One of the legs was completely broke in half. I asked my Uncle Dave to make her a new one. He took one of them and produced four new legs. They were a perfect match. It was amazing what he could do with a piece of wood and a table saw. I’m not one to brag (too much) but it looks gooood. I love Christmas’s that your favorite gifts aren’t the ones you get but the ones you give.

Jeter had a big day. His bone was twice as big as him. He couldn’t even pick it up. After a few days I pulled out the saw and cut it in two.

Last night as we officially put Christmas away. As we were gathering all the stuff and put them away Jeter got his second present. A white elephant gift. He had been eyeing this stuff snowman I had won at the Taylor Christmas party. He had stared at it for minutes before I would always say “don’t even think about it buddy.” He would turn and walk away, but always take a look back. As we gathered all the various items cluttering (I mean adorning) our shelves, I put the snowman on the floor and walked away. It took Jeter all of a minute to have a hole in it. Ten minutes later we had stuffing everywhere. Last night instead of the normal ball he brings to bed, it was the carcass. I woke up with stuffing everywhere and he woke up with a smile.

Wallpaper, Popcorn Ceilings, and Stuff

Listen up you old and slightly younger farts. As the years grow on those tired bodies of yours, take a few notes on how to help your kids and grandkids out.

The older you get the less you need and the less your kids are going to want. Anything we want or need we most likely have stolen from you or purchased ourselves. As you’re sitting there with nothing to do in the later years start reducing! Eventually you’re going to end up in one of two places. One, an old folks home and it is only big enough to hold a small apartment full of items. The other will only hold an old green suit. Don’t leave your stuff for your kids to figure out what to do with. We will end up with just more stuff we are going to have to try to get rid of in the end. It all boils down to a yard sale. Give what you think your family wants, and donate the rest.

Wallpaper- I know, I know wallpaper is coming back in style. The Misses loves HGTV and I see people are making the horrible mistake of putting that crap back on the walls. Just do us a favor. Long before your hands are too stiff to tie your shoes so you make the switch to Velcro, start peeling that crap off the walls. Pay some poor starving college student or even better find a soon to be 18 year old scout and offer him your walls to donate for his Eagle Scout project.

Popcorn Ceilings- I only mention this for you old old farts. The ones that have no TV now that TV’s went digital. Take the time to remove that crap off the ceilings yourself. You’re going to die soon and the asbestos won’t hurt you as much as it will your son-in-law, and youngest grandkid.

Finally, don’t go kicking and screaming to an old folks home (Grandpa didn’t go kicking and screaming, he just couldn’t remember signing the papers saying he wanted to start living there). Our only regret is not sending Grandpa their sooner. His mind has gone, and most days he can’t remember 5 minutes ago. But one thing that is for certain, depending on the day there are 8 to 15 women to every man. I hope it isn’t the only reason he has started to enjoy his time there, but I’m sure it helps.

As you can guess my family (Pops, Brother-in-law Dave, and I) have been working on my grandpa’s house. Here is a picture of Pops taking his turn scraping the Popcorn off the ceilings that cover every inch of grandpa’s house. Not a great picture, but at least he does have a mask on. He’s pretty sure that when he removed the crap from the first ceiling at his house, a mask didn’t cross his mind.

Catching Up

God it’s good to have The Misses home. We’ve been busy, is the excuse I would use why you haven’t seen much of us. What have we been up to? Here are some pictures to help explain:

Catching up with friendsIt's been good hanging out with Rich and Sarah. You really learn who your close friends are when you go through tough times.

Wine Pairing with Family and Friends

The day started with a hike up above Alta. It was a beautiful day. Jeda and her friend Nancy joined us on the hike. The Mister was still in Norway so he couldn't be with us.

After the hike we got cleaned up and met up with Mom and Dad. It was a great evening full of good stories, 9 different wines and incredible food to go with it.

Vacationing in Yellowstone with Jeter

The trip started with a night spent at Grandma and Grandpa's in Idaho. It is always a great time. Jeter wasn't able to go throughout Yellowstone with us. So we spent a day hiking in the mountains just outside the park. We were having a good time until we saw a big pile of fresh bear poop. We decided that was a good time to turn around.

Yellowstone was great. We saw everything except the wolves. I would highly recommend going in the park around 7:00pm. There were so many animals, so little people, and one incredible sunset. This view was on our way back to west yellowstone from Old Faithful around 9:00pm.

Spending time with Family

With the summer usually brings Jada's family and lots of time spent together. It is always fun watching the kids in the pool. The girls are getting too big. Now days we spend too much time drinking water from being dunked by them. There are also lots of BBQ's and a lot of laughs.

Jeter gets very spoiled. Kids love making him sit and shake, and he loves doing it for treats

Reconnecting It is true that after a deployment husbands and wives need to reconnect. There have been several tears, and lots of laughs. One of the things that has changed is Jeter. For some reason he doesn't like us to be together without being included. If we ever snuggle up on the couch or in bed, he has to be right in the middle of us.

I'm extremely proud of The Misses. There are things that I wish would have been different, but in the end she did what most wouldn't and I couldn't. There is nothing we can do to change our past, but what we have gone through has brought us closer together and we have learned so much about ourselves in the process.

Letter From Iraq- 15 Mar, 2009

Hey Everyone,
It’s been a long time I know. I am so sorry about that. My work has really kept me busy and then with not having a computer… I am here now though. As The Mister previously posted I am currently on R&R (rest & relaxation) in the country of Qatar, phonetically pronounced, {cut-er} very near the city of Doha. It has been very enjoyable and some much needed time off. I have been able to get out and do some fun things to include a city tour, shop, boat trip with jet skies, swim in the Persian Gulf, ride a camel, eat some camel, 4 wheeling in sand dunes and spend some time at the beach. It’s been pretty great. The Mister posted some pics before of my city tour, but let me talk a little about the area. The Middle East (not including Iraq) is a very beautiful area. Food is good, people seem nice enough, very diverse. Iraq might be beautiful too, I just haven’t seen those places. I would have never thought of traveling to the major cities of Dubai or Doha but after having been here, I would come back and recommend it to you. It has been really nice. Here are some more pics of what else I have been up to since I’ve been here.

And now eating the camel… I know they were not the same camel because I actually rode the camel on a different day. It was pretty good actually. It was a sandwich that reminded me a gyro or a donor kabob if you know what those are. If you like them, then you would like a Kartof camel sandwich. (I think that is what it was called)

I jet skied for the first time. That was pretty dam fun! I can see why people buy those things. I was scared at first cause I thought I might fall off or try to stay on by holding on so tight and end up pulling out my shoulder… again. Well I didn’t do that and really enjoyed it. I could still see it happening if I got too carried away

Here is a pick of 4-wheeling in sand dunes. Again, also pretty fun racing in the sand anywhere between 30-70 mph.

While at the beach I was able to try on some traditional dress. Yep, pretty darn hot under there and I don’t know how those women do it. This is a girl I met here and have been spending most of my time with. Her name is Suhoney. That is the nice thing, well one of my favorite things about the military. You can go somewhere not knowing anyone and always end up making friends.

Here are some of me relaxing, on the boat… at the beach… and writing love notes to my sweetie in the sand. I had a lot of fun doing that.

Sitting on the beach as the sun went down was really nice. It reminded me of what The Mister and I have done in Spain and Mexico. I am really missing him right now. It’s much easier to cope when I am busy at work all the time, but being here just reminds me of all the great times we’ve had and will have. As much fun as this has been I can’t help but think it would have been that much sweeter if he were here too. I never thought being apart would be as hard as it is. I mean, I knew it would be difficult but… we have a great marriage and it has been rough. I don’t know how a rocky marriage could make it through this. Sweetie, just know how much I love you and I still know and believe we will get through this. We were meant to be together and we will be here again soon. Just in case you all haven’t guessed it already. The Mister and I have been discussing my future in the military. When I get home I will have one year left on my contract. At that point I will have 12 years in service and would only need 8 more to retire. I used to see myself as a “lifer” as many call it. This deployment has shown me this is not the life I want. I have decided to close this chapter in my life. Do I love what I do? Yes most definitely. I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t miss it. I will wonder how far I could have gone in my career and how many more places in the world I would have gone. I will never regret my decision to join and serve my country. Mostly because it helped me to discover my two greatest loves in life; my love for taking care of people both as a nurse and a Soldier but more importantly, I met the love of my life. My Sweetie. It is now with him I will be a “lifer.” To Iraq and Back My Love.
Love The Misses

Hope your paying attention up there!

Been thinking a lot, and doing even more....

I was blessed with incredible parents. I have several traits from both of them, actually too many to list. This weekend as I worked in my basement to give my Sister-in-Law and he boyfriend a proper shitter to plant their butts upon. I came across two traits, one from each of my parents that caused me to...well, pull my hair out.

My pops has been known to think for years and years before starting a project. Every project that has been attempted at his house, you can bet he had been thinking about it for years. I too have this trait. Most projects don't happen without a good amount of thinking being done. My mother has this quality about her that when there is work to be done, and when there isn't work to be done she is up doing it. She never sits still and is always working on something. I too have a hard time sitting still, and I cant do a thing without some thinking. Truly I am happiest when I am busy working on a project.

Having both of these traits usually works out pretty good. Most everything I work on I have thought through every detail and I don't stop until it is all done. The bathroom I didn't have much time to figure out every detail. I could have used another 3 or 4 years, because of this there were several "Son-of-a-Bitches", and "all be damned" uttered from my lips. I was far to antsy to sit still and figure it all out. It did get done. Okay, not really I am still waiting for the damn plumber to show up and hook up the crapper, there is no tile on the floor and the shower is nothing but 2X4's. I couldn't do the finish stuff without The Misses here to pick them out. I did get some drywall up, the electrical is done, and there is a little paint on the walls. I just wish I could have spent more time with the little things. There is flaws in the drywall, the window seal is a bit slanted, and the TP holder is as level as a shelf in a Dr. Seuss house.

The reason for the big hurry, you ask? The Misses and I decided to let her pregnant Sister and Boyfriend live in our basement. It is just for a short time. I have told them they will be out by the time The Misses gets home. I will not worry about where The Misses and I decide to have the occasional argument, and more importantly where we will decide to make up. So they have till the middle of August until they have to be out. Our hope is that it will give the two of them an opportunity to give living with each other a try, without the commitment of a 6 or 12 month lease or more importantly a large rent payment. Hopefully they will take this opportunity to save a few bucks and figure a few things out about each other.

It wont be long, about a month and I will have a screaming baby in my basement. The Misses is fairly jealous ours wont be the first baby crawling around here. I'm a bit sad it wont be our baby screaming in the middle of the night, screaming while I am watching my Monday Shows, and driving me absolutely nuts. I really hope god is paying attention. I have decided I must have done some fairly bad stuff to deserve all I have gone through. My hope is this will earn a few Kudos or Gold Stars or what ever he does to decide who gets the shaft and who doesn't.

The Misses is in Qatar for her 4 days of R&R. She seems to be having a great time, laying out by the pool, visiting the city, spending her hard earned money, and even taking a day cruise that includes jet skies. Her computer is back in Salt Lake getting repaired, and she is still really too busy to sit down and write how she is doing. Know that she is doing great things, and there is no one more proud of her then me. I did finally tell her I would support her through anything, except another damn deployment. We were meant to be together! Here are some pics from Qatar.

Out of Office Reply

I'm sure your wondering where the hell have we been? You haven't seen anything from The Misses forever. She has been extremely busy. Instead of taking a position where she would be out of site and out of mind. Hoping she would be able to just concentrate on herself with exercising and schooling. Instead she was put in charge of the whole clinic. She barely has time for herself not to mention schooling, her family, friends, and me. I've been told she has been working on something to post, but don't expect it for a while.

Me, I've been out of town for work. I just got back from Sacramento for some training for my Job. In SPD (Supply, Processing, and Distribution) where I work in the VA Hospital the big deal is to be Level II Certified. It consists of become Level I Certified by taking a series of test. The information you are tested on is on the processing of reusable instruments, sterilizing them, storing them, as well as issuing them. The test are easy, they are open book. For Level II you have to take a 200 question test on all the material in the Level I Certification. About a month ago I took the Level II test and actually passed it. I had already signed up for the training in Sacramento, so my boss said I was going anyways.

The training was taught by the big boss "Bobby", from Washington DC. He is the person responsible for taking the VA from the Dark Ages, as far as Sterile Processing to the where we are today. Nationally the VA Health Care System ranks at the top as far as sterile processing. He started out by saying he does not teach the class to the Level II certification. He is there to teach us the latest information in sterile processing. We would be taking the Level II exam at the end of the week, but if we were worried about it we needed to study on our own.

At the beginning we had to stand and tell the class where were from and if we were Level I or Level II Certified. There were 60 students in the class and four others including me said we were Level II Certified. One of them said he was, but I think he was full of shit. He didn't know a thing. At the end of the week I took the test. I really thought I did worse then I did the first time. It turns out I did the exact same. I was the only one that was Level II Certified that passed it again.

I know what your saying. You just posted a blog saying you had memory issues. And now you are saying you passed this test that only 16 out of 60 could? What I didn't mention was how much I studied for it. In the military I did very well. I finished at the top of my class or second in the schools I went to. When I went to the two week school to become a Medical Supply Specialist, I partied every night. I drank heavily and did not study at all. There were Soldiers there really trying to become the Distinguished Honor Graduate (the Soldier that averaged the best scored on all the tests). They sat at the front of the class taking notes. They didn't go out at night so they could study. At the end of the training I was sitting in the back of the class nursing a hangover. The Sergeant Major was up front issuing the certificates of training. Before they got started he said he would be issuing the Distinguished Honor Graduate the certificate first. The Soldiers in the front of class adjusted themselves so they could stand up easier. When he asked for SGT Mark Taylor to come forward, you could hear the groans of dismay. I believe I even heard a "What the F*&^?" It was like this for most things I had done. There wasn't much studying and I passed fairly easy.

So yes, I passed the Level II Certification. What I didn't say is how many times I went through the Level I book. I bet I could easily say I read the book, studied the chapter test over a hundred times. I still couldn't remember some stuff that I should have. I could remember a question from the first time I took the test. It had to do with naming the different types of Homeostatic Forceps. I must have read them over and over and over. When I came to the question I still couldn't remember the exact names. It's seems I have learned to cope with what I have. I know I would have a really hard time if I was to learn new material and be tested soon after. If I had weeks to study information and then take a test, I'm sure I would be fine.

Hopefully you will hear from The Misses soon. I too miss reading about what she is going through. I did just get off the phone with her. She told me about her "day off". There wasn't much time for her in the day, let alone time to sit down and write to us. She does however have time to stand ontop of her clinic with her Sergeant Major and smoke Cigars????

Nothing Funny About U.C. Part 13 "The Memory Olympics"

It finally happened. Ever since the bout with Listeria my memory has been a bit off. When it first happened it was really off. I couldn't remember anything from one day to the next. It really hit home one afternoon when The Misses began saying how amazing (I may be embellishing just a bit) the night before was. I had no idea what she was talking about. Now my memory isn't that bad, but it still isn't what it was before I got sick.

The VA set up an appointment with a Neuro Psychologist for a memory test. They are trying to determine how much memory loss occurred because of the Listeria. Depending on how much memory loss occurred the VA may provide me with compensation.

The test started more like an interview. He asked me about my grades and life in high school and college. Luckily he didn't ask for the transcripts from college. It was much easier to tell how much better I did in the military when I figured out what I could do with a little discipline. Then he started to ask me random questions. "Where is the Sahara Desert? Who was Martin Luther King Jr? At what temperature does water boil?" I knew all of them but "Who was president during the civil war?" For some reason I was thinking revolutionary war. Anyways I was wrong.

Then the Memory Olympics began. He started out by reading me a paragraph. All I had to do was listen and repeat back what I heard. Sounds easy right? As he began I really tried paying attention, by the third sentence I couldn't even remember the lady's name the paragraph was about. There was so much information in such a short paragraph. Needless to say I didn't do well. Luckily I got to hear it two more times. Each time I remembered a bit more. Right after in the same voice he read me another paragraph one time. It really threw me off, I couldn't remember a thing. Maybe I got the guys name and something about a storm that would bring temperatures down 15 degrees. I don't know. I looked at him with a blank stare and he said "Okay, lets move on."

I think next he gave me a design on a piece of paper. There were lines all over the page forming different shapes. During this one, all I had to do was copy what I saw. Not a problem. After having a great High School Art Teacher, I nailed it. He quickly grabbed both pieces of paper and put a book in front of me. Now I had to just look at pictures and tell him what was wrong with them. It started out simple. A door without a door knob. A fence without a post. But after twenty-five or thirty I couldn't see anything wrong with them. All he said was "Okay" as he wrote something in his notes. Whatever confidence I had from the picture I drew was gone.

The next event in this two hour Memory Olympics was a list of twenty words that he went over four times. After he finished each time I had to tell him what words I remembered. It was amazing as he was saying the words on right after another I got hung up on a word and would miss three or four. I would realise I was missing them so panic set in. I tried to listen more carefully. I couldn't remember many. Each time was a bit better, but never great. Immediately after he read me a different list and I had to remember them. All I could think about was Horse, Moon, Parent, Spoon the last four words from the previous list. He just sat there looking at me as I stared out the window trying to remember anything. As soon as he knew I was finished he pulled a piece of paper out with fifty or sixty words on it. Some from the first list, some from the second and just a bunch of random words. Come to think of it they were all random. He asked me to circle the words just from the first list. I could recognise a few, but I am sure I missed a bunch.

There were a few more events like these. He then handed me a blank paper and asked me to draw the design from earlier, you remember the one I nailed. I got the outline of the design and a few of the lines in the middle and I was lost. I was sick of looking up at him with this worthless feeling. He took the paper from me and handed me four pages. On them were numbers with objects next to them. I could tell some of the objects made up the design I just tried to draw. He asked me to circle the numbers of the objects that were from the design. By page four I realised I was circling the object and not the number. I began wondering if I screwed that one up too. There was so many shapes that they all started to look like they might be able to work. He took the paper and said only a few more.

Now he wanted me for sixty seconds to list all the words I could think of that started with the letter "A". The only words I couldn't use were proper names or pronouns. "Go" he said as he pushed the button on the stop watch. I know your thinking easy, right? You try it. Easy at first, like all his test. I started with "Apple, Art, Army..."The first thirty seconds were easy. Then "Ass" popped in my head. "No don't say ass! No don't say Ass. Ass Hole! no no something else" I couldn't get it out of my head, "Um," I uttered "Ant, Aunt". "Ass hole, Anal no no no." finally I heard the stop watch beep. "Okay now the letter F". Good hell what is he doing to me. You can imagine the first word that popped in my head.

He finally said "Okay, know tell me everything you remember from the first paragraph I read to you. I'll give you a hint it was about a lady." I'm sure I looked at him like a deer in the head lights. "Ummmmm, Something about her being a lunch lady....." I could remember a few things, but not much. "Okay, and the second paragraph, it was about a guy". I could remember very little.

Once I was finally finished he told me that he had to go over all the information. But from giving these test for as long as he had, he was fairly certain they would come back that I did in fact have some memory issues. He explained that he would take the results of my test and compare them nationally to people my age and see how I did. He also told me another comparison he would do, but wouldn't you know I don't remember it. He mentioned that there are some real issues in my short term memory, as well as in my concentration which was related to the memory functions of the brain.

We began to talk about my memory and how it may be as good as it was going to get. He really didn't know. I may be on a plateau, and as my brain continues to heal it could get better. But this may well be as good as it gets. I asked him about going back to school. He really didn't think it would be a good idea right now. He recommended I wait another couple of years to see if my memory does improve. If I don't wait and try now he felt I would have a very hard time with it.

So there it is, I may in fact have memory issues. I do what I can to compensate for them. I take a lot of notes with most any task I do. I really try not to have any "serious" conversations late at night. I'm just very grateful I have a wonderful and very understanding wife. I will always remember when told how wonderful last night was. Answer it with "Yeah, I really nailed it!"

Letter from Iraq- 4 Jan 08

The Rainy Season…
So in my mind prior to coming to Iraq, I imagined that Iraq was a desert; lots of sand, no plants, the ground just thirsty for water. So exactly how Kuwait was. Some parts of southern Iraq are like this. Baghdad is not one of them. December and January are known as the rainy season. The mornings are brisk, but the days are quite pleasant. Actually the weather this time of year is quite perfect. It’s only rained twice but when it does, MUD!

And it sticks around forever! No pun intended. It’s been over a week and some of these puddles are still here.

All I can say is, I miss the snow. Love and miss you guys. Hope you’re all doing well.
Love, The Misses

P.S. So since I wrote this. The last couple days here have gotten cold. Especially in the morning, I can’t imagine being a gunner driving on patrols. I am lucky I get to work in doors for the most part. Cause burr. Who would have ever thought Iraq gets cold.

Answered Questions

1. Hip feels good. Actually there hasn't been any pain in the hip. The pain is in my thigh where they did all the cutting. I am up and about on one crutch. I am still at my parents. I had thought I would only be there a few days. I just didn't expect to be in so much pain.
2. Christmas was as good as could be expected. The highlight was the web cam and chatting with The Misses. It took forever for enough people to get off line over there for her web cam to work. But once it did I was able to see my beautiful wife smiling, crying, laughing and just being her wonderful self. It was by far the best present I could have received.
3. The Misses got moved okay. The reason you haven't seen any letters is she has been so busy working 14 or more hours a day. She was able to enjoy Christmas, but I will leave it up to her to tell you all about it. I am just thankful she got moved without an incident. I am so thankful she doesn't go outside the wire much.
4. It was The Misses roommate that walked in on us. I don't know how much she saw, but I am glad she understood and they had a good laugh about it.

Medieval Torture Device

So tomorrow is another day in the adventure of Mark and his attempt to leave this earth with less parts or now better parts then he came with. To be honest I am not so worried about the fact they are cutting into my groin, dislocating my leg, cutting the top 3 or so inches off my femur, drilling down the femur so a titanium piece can be be pounded into place this will act like my old femur head, a large drill bit will be inserted in my hip and bone will be ground away so a titanium cup can be put in, and finally they will shove the two pieces back together and I will have my new hip. Nope none of that scares me. Certainly a little anesthesia and the potential side effect don't faze me anymore.
What scares the shit out of me is this....

Notice in this nice picture the lady is wearing some yellow tight outfit of some sort. Me, all I will have is my birthday suit on.

The first time I saw this I was sitting in a class the surgeons office holds every month to teach those that are about to go through this what to expect. As I sat in the classroom it was easy to see I was the youngest person by about....oh I don't know...30 maybe 35 years. The teacher actual told the lady sitting next to me that it was nice her great grandchild was there to learn what she was going to be going through. When she got to this picture in the slide show, everyone gasped. "Now don't worry" she explains. "I always ask everyone if they remember getting on the table and none of them do." Well, that is good to know.
But all this has reminded me I better get going. I need to go do a little "manicuring". I haven't been with The Misses in so long it is a little scary down there...
Oh,and wait until I am all messed up on pain meds. I will tell you all the story of how The Misses and I were caught having a little Web Cam Sex.

Our "I'm Thankful" Moment

Every year around the Thanksgiving dinner table, if you are with The Misses family you are required to tell everyone what you are thankful for. I sent The Misses an email and explained how it went for me…..
So my "I’m thankful" moment didn't turn out like I had planned. I started with "I have never been more thankful for the internet and the telephone”..... Silence...I was so over come with emotion that I couldn't speak. Tears just rolled down my face and I buried my face in a napkin. I don’t know how long I stayed like that, but it felt like forever. I finally was able to spit out "This is so hard without her. I didn’t think it would be this hard”..... More silence and sobbing. I think I managed to thank your Mom and Dad for their support, but then I was done. I just couldn't stop crying.
Sitting next to me was TP. When she started into you being thankful for me I couldn’t hold it back again. I guess you have worn off on me. Shit I am crying here again. I could hear all of your family sobbing too. Your Aunt Lavern softly said "how precious". I really don’t think there was a dry eye in the place.

The Misses got off easy (if you can call eating a turkey dinner in a combat zone easy). She had pre written something and had her sister TP read it…..
Hey Everyone,
Happy Thanksgiving!!! I truly hope all of you are doing well. I wish I could be there but since I am unable to, I thought I would write and let you all know what I am thankful for this year. I have also attached some pics of my Thanksgiving meal in the chow hall here. SSG Rose Ledford was my date and we had a great dinner. Of course it was no home cooked meal, but it was good. As for what I am thankful for, prepare yourself, my list is long. This is truly a list of what I am grateful for and why. We are all so blessed with so many small things we forget what they are until we don’t have them anymore. So in no particular order, here is my list: drum roll please,
1. Sidewalks. Walking in sand, dirt, and/or rocks all day everyday gets really old. Especially when you have weak ankles.
2. Street Lamps. Yep walking on previously stated terrain is not any easier at night, in the dark.
3. Telephones, yep the old fashion kind that actually are connected to a cord in your house. Mine are ½ a mile away that you can only get to by walking on previously stated terrain. Refer to number 1.
4. Cell phones. Need I say more?
5. Fly swatters, fly sticky strips, or anything that can help get rid of all these slow flying kamikaze flies. I swear, you swat one and 10 of his buddies show up.
6. A chow hall, food already prepared and ready to eat. Much easier to eat healthy when you don’t have to think about it.
7. A chow hall that is 0.7 miles away. Yep I have to walk that far to eat. I’m thankful for it though because when I do eat, I’m already burning those calories before and after. However with that said, I give you number…
8. A kitchen that is attached to my living space. A fridge, stove and all the food right there not 10 feet from me. The walking does get old, quick. Again, refer to number 1.
9. Free Gyms and exercise classes. I think the government should put that on the table to help keep Americans healthy. I know it helps me.
10. Internet, and email. Being able to keep in touch with family and friends more frequently and more often than snail mail. This is truly priceless.
11. High Speed Internet, we are truly spoiled with that. The stuff out here is slow…
12. Letters, as slow as snail mail is. There is nothing like seeing that someone took the time to actually write you a letter. To see their handwriting. With this said I need to apologize to my brother Greg that I didn’t do a better job of this for him. I hope he will forgive me.
13. A bathroom connected to your room, no wait a bathroom connected to your house. Let’s just say I have TBS (tiny bladder syndrome) and having to get up and use the bathroom some 30 feet away outside through a maze of buildings 1-2 times a night, does not help with a good night sleep. Oh and yet again please refer to number 1.
14. Porta Jons, yep I am thankful for them. Right now I wish there was one right outside my room. They are everywhere else, why can’t they put one there?
15. Long, hot, showers by yourself. Yep, I like them but here, no such thing. One, everyone else is taking a shower with you. Two, we are in a desert and we get to take “combat showers.” Example: step 1, water on, rinse. Step 2, water off, wash. Step 3, water on, rinse. The End. Oh, and by step 3, hot water is gone.
16. A bath. Again, need I say more? The truth is, it’s really not that bad over here. I know my set up could be much worse. I have a comfortable room and bed with a very nice roommate, Rose Ledford who I am sharing this experience with. I am learning and experiencing things I never have before so how could I not be thankful for my life. So now for the “cheesy” stuff. I am thankful for a country that allows us to choose what we believe and who we want to represent us. During this historical election year I have listened to Soldiers who all wear the same uniform and yet have very different beliefs on who they wanted to be their Commander in Chief. How lucky are we that is even possible, that they, that we, have a right to choose who our boss is. As a nation we are truly blessed for the opportunities we have and what this country has to offer. I want to thank every Soldier and their families. I am thankful for them and their sacrifice. Both truly do sacrifice for a Soldier’s service. The Mr. and I now actually know what that sacrifice is. I am mostly thankful for my family. I have parents both birth and in-laws who love me and care for me very much. I know that any of my family; all of my 4 sisters and 5 brothers would do anything for me. I am thankful for extended family that actually enjoy each other’s company at the holidays and get together to celebrate. I am also thankful for friends. You know who you are. We too have been through so much together and I appreciate all you have done to be there for the Mr. and I, especially during these last couple years.
The number one thing, no person I am thankful for is my dear Husband. I want you all to know that I know, I am so lucky to have him. He is my support, he is my rock, and he is my world. I would not be able to be here and do what I do if it wasn’t for him taking care of me and our life at home. We stay in contact everyday in some form or fashion, and this helps us to stay close. I am truly thankful that he is not only willing, but wants to do the work it takes to stay close while we are so far apart. There are not many men in this world willing to make such a sacrifice as he. If you haven’t heard about the next obstacle he faces; it's a Total hip replacement at the ripe young age of 31. This is due to side effects of medications he was on for Ulcerative Colitis. Yet, when I call him and ask how his day is going he’ll tell me “Oh busy, so and so called in sick, but I’m fine.” I say “Really, do they have a broken hip?” He is the strongest person I know both physically and mentally. What he has been though in his life inspires me every day to just keep on going. To push through to the end. Mark, I love you with every fiber in my body. I am thankful that you are you. There is no one I would rather spend forever with. I can’t wait for my leave when I get to see you and hold you in June and celebrate our 2nd Wedding Anniversary and our 6th year together as a couple. I also can’t wait for the 325 days from today to go by. When I will officially be off orders and back home to you for good.
Thank you to all of you who have loved and supported me so far on this deployment. I have felt all of your thoughts and prayers. I love you all and miss you very much. I am so thankful and blessed to a member of your family. I truly wish I could be there and I am so thankful for all you in my life. Take care and have a great Thanksgiving meal. Give everyone a hug and a kiss for me.
Love you all, The Misses

Letter From Iraq- 21 Nov, 08

Well, now I am in Camp Liberty, Iraq. Well that is where I sleep but I work on Camp Cropper. Don’t worry; I don’t have to convoy everyday to and from work. I do have to commute however. It is decent distance and a drive over bumpy roads. So you can’t really sleep to well. I can’t talk much about where I work and you won’t get to see a lot of pictures from their either but I can show you pictures of where I live. I won’t call it home sweet home because home is where The Mr. is, but here it is in all its glory…

Pad 10

During the Day

At Night
Yes it really is that dark outside when you have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Yes, this is the bathroom and the décor is braded mop heads and bath loufas. I think they are ones people leave in the shower. It was pretty overwhelming the first time I walked in. It’s not too bad though, I really can’t complain. The water is usually warm for showers. That’s what’s most important. I think the cleaning lady is the one who is the decorator.

Letter From Iraq- 21 Nov, 08 Cont..

This is the door way to my room. All our living quarters are surrounded by these barricades. I live in 10-372C with SSG Rose Ledford. This is pretty much what I do in my spare time. Email The Mr. It’s nothing fancy but it is comfortable and it will do. We just got the mini fridge and the TV yesterday. We have about 6 channels to choose from off of the Armed Forces Television Network (AFN). The fridge is to keep milk in so I can have cereal and don’t have to get up for breakfast on my days off. Lazy, I know but it’s nice to sleep in.

This is what I do every night. It may be on these phones or some different ones but I have probably talked to some of you on them. This phone call however was to The Mr. If you think you see a rifle in my arms, you do. We have to carry it everywhere with us. I’m sure when I get home and go to get up from somewhere I’ll look around for it.
We took a tour the 2nd day we were here of the complex however, I do not live by this building. It isn’t finished and it’s not going to be. The former dictator started building it after Desert Storm 1. This is the Victory Over America Palace. Yep, no lie. That is its name. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to go inside any buildings yet but hopefully I’ll get the chance. This was a drive by picture taking. This lake is also manmade and I’m not sure how the water stays in it. For being a desert the dirt does not soak up water very well. When it does rain, water sits around in puddles forever. Well, until next time. Don’t worry there will be more when there is more to tell. Otherwise it is pretty much groundhogs day around here. Love, The Misses

Letter from Iraq- 17 Nov, 08

Hey Everyone,
Well, it’s been exactly one month since I flew across the great big Ocean. Exactly 7119 miles from Home to Baghdad, Iraq. Man that’s far. So let’s see, what have I done for a month? Well, I spent two Weeks in Camp Buerhing, Kuwait doing absolutely nothing. The Army calls that acclimatizing. Here are some photos of what I did there and what it looked like.

This is where I lived. PAD 9. Pretty nice as you can see, but dusty as hell.

This is where I slept with 13 other females and yes it was dusty in here too.

I ate Baskin Robin’s ice cream with the girls, and yes on more than one occasion.
Veronica Badillo, Me, Beth McGuire, Jenni Smith

I decided I make these look good.
These are BCG glasses (aka birth control glasses)

I also decided it’s probably too far to walk home.

I hung out with my friends at Starbucks.

SSG Ledford, SFC Cole, SPC Selvey, SPC Luongo, SSG Kaplan, SSG McGuire, Me, SSG Badillo